Thursday, September 20, 2007


OK, so I didn't really quit . . but I did give my two weeks notice today. My boss was SHOCKED . . and it felt kind of good-though I know that is not a nice mindset-

I feel a multitude of feelings . . .

1. Excited about the new opportunity

2. Nervous about the new opportunity

3. FREAKING glad to be getting out of that mess of a job

4. Sad to leave behind the people that really liked me and felt I did a great job-unfortunately NOT my boss or supervisor . . .

5. Upset that some of my families will have to transition AGAIN to another case manager

6. Worried that the current job will require me to do mass, MASS quantities of work between now and October 5th

7. Cautious about being sure all incriminating emails are deleted from my account before I leave

8. Proud that I am taking this leap

I have a saying near my desk that reads " When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown . . .Faith is knowing one of two things will happen-there will be something solid on which to stand, or you will be taught to fly"

I'm not entirely sure of what I am embarking on, but I am so proud of myself for being exactly where I am right now-in this place- taking the plunge . . .

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

What to do . . .

Hello Wednesday-

So I have been offered the position-on the day that my maniacal boss tells us she is stepping down-we aren't sure if she is stepping down or she was shoved down-either way it made the decision that much harder for the briefest of seconds.

I am waiting on some minor clarifications about health insurance and then I am ready to give my notice. I feel bad for the two gals I am leaving behind, because I really do a TON in the office that no one really knows how to do. They both told me today, though, that I had to do what was right for ME, and this is right, for now.

I talked with the family counselor for the program last night for about an hour and I felt much more settled about the whole idea of being in the city and working with a more diverse population. I am increasingly more enthused about this.

I did have one scary thought today-that is that I don't like to spend time by myself much-and in this job I will have LOTS of time by myself and won't really have co-workers per se to hang out with and such. I guess this will be a true test of my growth and ability to be stretched. I will have to be incredibly self-directed-which I think I can be . . .

I also had a great meeting with an old friend today. It had been several years since I'd spoken to H. and I called her up last week-whilst I was having difficulty being by myself-and asked her how she was doing and we ended up meeting for coffee tonight. We talked for close to 3 hours and it was nice to reconnect.

That's all for today folks. We are having a small gathering Friday night of work friends to see the house-should be exciting!

Hope all is well in your corners-

Sunday, September 09, 2007


Just call me a slacker. Though, I must say that I have great reason to have been slacking. Things have been very stressful and I have been trying to keep myself out of trouble. NOT easy if you are me!!

The house is wonderful and we have finally gotten to enjoy a few of our home grown tomatoes. Nothing like a freshly grown and picked tomatoes. We have used our air conditioners all summer and our electric bill hasn't been more than we were used to in the apt. We still haven't gotten a water bill, which is perplexing, so we are hoping that we don't get like a $1000 water bill soon. We have NO clue as to how much water should be . .

DP got a job and started this past week. While we are pleased as pie that she has a job, it wasn't as much money as we thought and some of the terms and conditions of the offer are in need of some adjustment. She is excited about the new prospect and says the people she has met so far are great.

On my job front, things are horrendous. I am still amazed at the things my supervisor and director can get away with. Though I guess when they help run a program that brings in 15 millions dollars a year, they can do what the hell they damn well please. I am not longer able to be a part of this mission. I don't agree with what they are doing, and I am less and less tolerant of a job that makes me feel like shit day in and day out.

The good news is that I have been sought out for a grant funded position based out of the local city. There are several things I would like to point out about the position. The job calls for a licensed social worker who will work to assist low income families in the inner city who have a child suspected of having autism or who have been recently diagnosed with autism.

I am way excited about this opportunity to work collaboratively with this project, and feel the opportunities to learn about grant writing and the workings of a start up agency will serve me well into the future. I am also flattered, and slightly overwhelmed at the extent in which they have been recruiting me. My internship last year at the local children's hospital and autism center has helped, as my name was getting around and thus the call I received a few months ago about this.

What I am nervous about it the following. I work currently with affluent and middle class families who have children on the spectrum. I have NO experience working with inner city families, much less experience conducting home visits in some of the roughest areas in the city. I am nervous about these challenges, and am seeking ways to feel better about them.

I met with the director last week and they hope to have an official offer this week. The benefits and such seems good-though the position is only funded though next June. In speaking with the financial guru in this agency, she shared with me that they are already searching for funding for next year. She also told me that if for some reason the funding doesn't come through, if they like you, they will try really hard to find you something either with their agency or elsewhere. She told me she felt that since autism is the hot topic right now, chances of the program NOT being funded next year is slim--IF I DO A GREAT JOB!! No pressure or anything . . .

I am looking forward to giving my notice . .though I know that they will make it very challenging for me in the last few weeks once I tell them.

I guess that is it for now. I just wanted to give a quick update for my one reader . . .