Thursday, January 11, 2007

Traffic Jam

So today I am leaving work and taking the shortcut to therapy from where I work. . . well, several hours later I never made it to therapy, and I sat in my car getting more furious by the minute.

There was a road closed and the trusty radio station that I listen to said nothing for 1 hour and 15 minutes about this road closure. I felt so betrayed-No Traffic and Transit on the 2's for me today. I think I may boycott. Then I get to the road I need to and it farms everyone in the opposite direction I needed to be going in-->it was like I saw it happening and could d nothing about it. At this point it is 4:45 and I am supposed to be at my appt. Going in the wrong direction, sitting in rush hour traffic, and not having a place to turn around for like 5 miles . . Oh, and did I mention I didn't pee before I left work because after all, it was only going to be a 1/2 hour until I got to my appt . . . .grrr. I wanted to call my therapist to tell her I would be late, but they recently changed the number and I don't have it in my phone. Information didn't know the number-how can information not know the INFORMATION???

So she calls to find out where I am and I tell her. Then I say hey, we could work on anger management . . .or let's see, what I am supposed to be learning here . . .she says, maybe you are just learning that life sucks sometimes and it really has nothing to do with you . . .hmm. Then she said she could stay late and see me tomorrow. She is nice.

I think I also get pissed off about the whole thing about having to pay for appointments that you miss without giving 24 hours notice. I mean, who knows 24 hours in advance that they are going to be stuck in traffic, or will be too sick to go. Either way, without the proper notice you have to pay your co-pay, so damn it, I will go hacking up a lung just to not waste my co-pay.

Grrr . . .ok, so that is me for another day.

Oh, and I think my co-worker, not the one I like, but the crazy one. I seriously think she is bi-polar. It is scary and I keep waiting for her to stab me in the head with a plastic fork . . .or spoon. Either way, she has it out for us and one day she will go postal. I don't have the energy to on about the crazy things she does, but look out for me on the news. I will be the one in the "Weird News" section with a fork coming out of my head . . .just you wait and see.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Time sure does fly-

Wow, seems I missed a whole month of blogging. Granted, it was a tremendously busy month.

Work has been taking up most of my time, and who could forget Christmas shopping and preparing to travel approximately 2000 miles over the holiday break. Amid the scrambling around and eeking out all the work before a long needed a deserved vacation, I was aware that I was in such an amazingly different place than I have been in the past at that time of the year. I used to cry at the first sign of Christmas and would pray that it would be quick and painless.

Now the holiday seems for me to be a time of remembering how fun it can be to wonder what you might get, and also about the times you will spend with loved-and not so loved-ones. I heard a holiday tune on the radio in late November and was bopping along-then I even changed my morning wake up station to play the non-stop holiday music until Christmas. It was fun. I got some awesome gifts as well, and was even able to save some money in my savings account.

Time with family number 1 was ok. This was my family and as usual there was not much happening. Got to see Little Tyke for Christmas eve, and it was nice to all be together. It is hard to be around my folks as very little makes them happy. Dad is home on disability and mom SHOULD be home on disability, but she works very part time to pay for her need to buy stuff. Not like good stuff, just stuff. Her entire paycheck must be recycled back into where she works. When confronted on her "stuff" addiction, she claims it is one of very few things that makes her happy. I don't even think I make her happy anymore, I am just the only kid that keeps showing up. Dad is depressed and doesn't do much except go to the food store daily to get the newspaper and flirt with the workers there. I fear he is turning into one of those dirty old men I hate to see around. But, I love him and he will continue to ride upon his pedestal in my eyes-though the more time I spend with him the more it hurts to see him struggling. His brother has Parkinson's and recently I have begun to see him shake more and he will not go the doctor.

Trip to family 2 was good. I always like seeing DP's family. I am usually very sad at first as I am reminded of how much her family is different than mine. They have hobbies and interests and DO things. I wish I had that. I wish I could go to an outdoor store and look for fishing gear for my dad, or know that my mom would like a really cool thing I found for her. It is hard to see the differences, and I know it is hard for DP to be so far away from her family. We had a good time though, and I like that I am included in the family like everyone else is.

I was not feeling so well when we embarked on the second trip, though we headed off, and after some delays at the airport ended up being quite late on our arrival. We were supposed to hang out with DP's sister and her new dog at a recreation place nearby. It had snowed that morning and I was hesitant to go as I felt sick and I was hacking up a storm. After moping and having a big cry, I decided that I would suck it up and go. When we got to the park, we played around and ran after the dog some. Then we were going to go for a walk on a nearby trail. Well, before we even get there I do a nose dive of sorts on a hidden patch of ice and end up FLAT ON MY FACE in the snow. I still cannot imagine how I ended up in the position I did, but alas I was down for the count.

Wet jeans and a trip to the ER was how I spent my Thursday. I did not break my ankle, but sprained it really good. I have never, in the history of all of my injuries, felt pain that bad. I used to think those who didn't come to work due to a sprained ankle were wimps. I will never think that again. Now I am donning a really pretty aircast on my foot and am unable to drive at least for a few more days. At least now I can hobble without crutches . . .

The funny thing is, this was the first time I would be seeing her family when nothing was wrong with me. I have been injured the last few times I have been there--first my foot, then the knee surgery, a back injury, and then now this. I was looking forward to going on the nightly walk after dinner and the shopping trip. Instead I sat on the couch and felt sorry for myself. All the while listening to the comments-made in love of course-about how I am always injuring myself and they wondered what would be next. Mostly I am sorry that my body seems to have failed me once again.

I know that perhaps the reason I wasn't even more severely injured was because I HAVE been taking care of myself and exercising, but what for? To keep getting hurt. Oh well. I have learned to ask for and accept help of nothing else. I will do the best to do as I am told so that I can heal and be back on my feet again. The doc said one ore week in the cast and then I should be well enough to not use that. I can at least walk now which is great.

Today it was back to work again. The one girl I really get along with at work told me today she is moving back in with her folks in a few months. That really sucks because she is the only positive force around the office except myself-I know hard to believe I am positive-but at work I try to be. It is the only thing that keeps me sane. I will miss her-

Um, I guess that is all. I should go hobble to the shower and rest my foot for a bit.

Hope all is well in your corners of the world!