Thursday, April 29, 2010


Sometimes things just seem dark and you have to remember that these times are meaningful in the journey as well. . . .just wish that was easier to take in at times.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Tale of Two Neighbors

This post has been brewing for a little bit and I thought it was time to share.

We live on a busy road, and so having the normal neighborhood feel is not something we get to experience. We share a driveway with our neighbors T and L. They are the nicest people around-and I am NOT just saying that because the first time we met them they invited us over to swim in their pool and continue to allow us free reign in their pool when it is open!! While that certainly helps, they are just great. They have a daughter our age, and have always been very helpful to us-loaning us tools and helping with things around the house and yard. We take turns watching each other's dogs at times, have each other's house keys, and overall enjoy a very nice neighborly relationship. Recently T retired early from the post office and is kinda bored. He's been hinting around about wanting to find a part time job, but then he recently had his prostate removed and I think has decided he likes being home. He thought he could be our lawn and dog boy!! I think we have worked out a deal that he's going to let the dogs out twice a day and mow the lawn for us. I guess we'll give him some money for that, and it will all be worth it because I hate that Addie pees in the house and I hate mowing the lawn (truth be told I like mowing the lawn, it's just my really bad knee and ankle do not like mowing the lawn).

On the other side of us is a house that looks quite ramshackle-y. We never really knew the guy who lived over there-though I think we did know that that he lived there with his mother who gets oxygen delivered. He does sit outside and smoke . . . . The backyard is filled with stuff, including a shower stall and a boat that we've never seen move. I had talked to him once when we got Riley to let him know we were getting a puppy and to let us know if they become bothersome with barking and whatnot. Found out his name, and that he looked like he could be an axe murderer with missing teeth. (consequently there was a report one day that an old woman had been found dead in her basement in our area and I thought for sure he'd off-d his mother) A little while later we discovered that he did dry walling and finally asked him to come give us a quote to help us with a project. He came over and we didn't do anything about it for a while because we didn't have money. Then this winter rolled around and we all seemed to be out shoveling a lot and cleaning off roofs and the like. His step-brother was staying with him, because it was too far to drive a half hour home each day and they were working on a project in the house.

Hang in there--I am getting to the point . . .

We talk to them some during the snowstorms, loaned them a roof shovel thing, and began to talk some more. They hang outside the window of the room they are working on and throw venison jerky to the dogs . .they like this . . .both the boys and the dogs. We ask them to come over again and talk to us about our project. They give us a quote and tell us they can start in a few days.

I have to say I was worried--by looks alone and the fact that their house doesn't look overly taken care of. I worried that DP agreed to have them in the house by themselves, and worried what we would do if they messed up and took our money. We gave him $500 for the supplies and prayed for the best . . .

Needless to say the first night I waited for DP to call me and give me a report as I was staying at a house doing respite. She called and I help my breath waiting for the worst and she surprised me by saying not only did they do a nice job, but they cleaned up really well. The next few days were much of the same, and in the end they did a fabulous job!!! I felt really bad for being so judgmental and for thinking the things that I did about them. We gave them a decent bonus for the work they did, as they fix some extra things while they were here which was very kind of them. They loved the dogs and took great care to clean up as they went along. T and L were curious as well and wanted to know how they did, as we had talked a bunch about how those neighbors just seemed "different"

Since then we have talked to them more. DP has talked to the mother who is 88 or something and has lived quite the life. He was hanging out the window the other day while I was mowing the lawn and commented about how horrible the mower sounded. I said yeah, I knew we probably needed to change the filter or something, but that we never got around to it. He said to bring it over when we were done and he'd show us. We brought it over and he said if we left it with him he'd sharpen the blades and change the filter. He returned it a few days later and not only did he do what he said he would, but he cleaned it up and I dare say it looks like a brand new mower.

The real great part happened yesterday. We came home to find our nicely cleaned mower in our back yard, and T and L working on a project in their front yard. We went to check it out, and then went to the other neighbor to thank him for our mower and ask him how much we owed him (he said nothing, but we will get him a gift card or something). He asked if we heard about the accident the day before in front of our house and we said no, but went out to find all the glass in the front lawn by the pole that someone schmucked into. He was standing there with us, and T and L came over and we all began to talk, and for the first time T and L met the neighbor on the other side, and it just felt so good knowing that we could bring these two neighbors together. We had only every talked about the other, but yet they have never met and L grew up in that house . . .

The moral of this very very very long story is that it's nice to be challenged on the things that we think about others. I can't wait to learn how to play poker . . .the mother next store told me she'd teach us. She would also like to meet the dogs . . .she likes dogs and hears them playing and hoped she'd get to meet them. She also paints, and tells stories, and has a very sweet smile. He may look like he could be an axe murderer, but I am finding out and that he and his mother are great neighbors to have.

The End!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Mother's Day

So mom's day is coming up . . .and her birthday is also two days before. She is constantly bugging me for copies of pictures that we take that she finds really cute.

She never does anything with the pictures and it irritates me that I give them to her and they sit around.

So this year we are making her one of those photo books from Shutt*rfly. I finally finished it tonight and I really hope she likes it!! She's impossible to buy for because she is not able to do much. I hope this brings her some enjoyment--though I know she will now want one every year.

They are a great idea. I did one for DP last xmas. They are a little more costly than printing pics only, but by the time I print and DO something with them I might as well have them do all the hard work. I am working on a year in review for us from last year!

Work is crazy . . .going to Florida Monday night into Tuesday and considering if I can possible squeeze in anything manageable at Disney and still be coherent in the morning for a work thing. Thoughts?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Hello blog, it's me . . .beans!

Yeah, so I have been absent for a little bit. I did talk to DP about it last night and I think I will try and blog at least once a week. I do miss it. . . just taking the time to get the thoughts out there. Seems I don't take the time to stop long enough to catch up to myself--though in all honesty when I do I scare myself!

The new job responsibilites have been going really well. I am so freaking busy that I have little time to complain and wish for a life in a place where it is always 70 degrees and sunny. I am now the coordinator of children's admissions and family services. I deal with all the new admissions and families coming in, which also means I have a lot more say in who gets to come and not come. I have alredy had almost the same number of admissions they had last year--in the last 3 months!! I am seriously rocking it!! It's also hard to be in the position of turning away so many families. We have gotten so many referrals for adolescents that are over the age of 18 and really have serious issues. I can't imagine families trying to place them now . . .it's harder to do it younger, but even harder to get them placed at 18+.  I have one school district in CT that I would say would write me a check if I would take their kid . . .sad sometimes. Dealing with a lot of NY school districts and learning all of their whacky ways of doing things! I am flying to FL in two weeks to screen a kid there. Staying overnight in Orlando . . .I have never been do Disney and it seems like a sin to be able to fly over it and be so near yet not be able to stay and visit!

Home is good. We have been working on some home improvement projects, and most of you that read my blog are also on FB so you have seen and heard all about that. It is nice to do stuff, but crazy how much it costs to do them. We are trying to do some stuff ourselves, like laying a small patio, but that was really hard. It is a nice spot now though! We are getting an estimate for a new small fence around an expanded garden area, though the garden is decidedly bare right now. We were going to buy stuff to make raised beds, then we decided that we will make the raised beds in the fall. So we need to get dirt and get going on planting the peas. We are about 3 weeks late in getting peas in the ground. We did start tomatoes, peppers, and eggplant. Can't wait for fresh stuff. We will rent a rototiller with our neighbors this weekend and get that sqaured away.

Family stuff is . . .well. You know. Had my bro down a month or so ago to see the down's specialist at CHOP and they determined that he didn't have early dementia, he was just acting out. I could have told you that, but it was good for me to get some support from the clinic. They have a social worker and a nurse practitioner who have been good. I am hoping to get the folks set up with a nutritionist as they are in serious need of help with their food issues.  Bro in TX is having a hard time. SIL is no longer working and was hospitalized for a suicide attempt.  He doesn't know what to do and refuses to get help for himself. He says they want to move back Northeast, and I am not objecting because TX is just too damn far and they have no support out there. It's a big giant mess and she isn't willing to do what she needs to in order to get the bipolar under control. She admitted in the hospital that she wanted to kill my brother and little tyke, and so brother is afraid to leave her alone with LT and she is saying now she wants to be a stay at home mom to which he responds hell NO!! What a mess . . .not my mess but I feel for him none the less. I think they will decide what they will do at the end of the school year since little tyke is in kindergarten this year. Shit how time flies!!

And for my issues. Hanging in there. Doing a lot of work on trauma stuff, and body image. Seems as if I have pretty cruddy body image! Hahahahahah . . .I laugh because it is out of control. I lost like 45 lbs and this weekend saw myself on video from the weekend and I looked larger than ever. I have no ability to see myself for what I am.  It is really very sad to be honest. I wish I could just not worry about it anymore and just be happy with who I am and what I am doing with my life.

I am off tonight to the final LCSW supervision group that I have been facilitating. I was co-faciliatating in hopes that I would be able to start my own supervision group, but turns out I have to be 5 years post LSW and that will be next year. So I will reclaim my Wednesday's and perhaps have some chances to hang out with some old pals!

Hope all is well in your corners. See you next week. Same time, same beanie channel!