- I just ate lunch and I think I don't feel quite right-I don't feel the urge or need to purge, but it feels more like a yucky rumbly feeling. Everyone around me has been sick, so I am hoping and praying that I am not the next victim.
- Work has been keeping me entertained and full of feelings to deal with. Wonderwoman (the boss) has been calling off from her working from home job but not actually calling out. So she will let me know she is going to be out sick, but when you look at the attendance she is not listed on the list. That means she is not only "working" from home, but supposedly calling out-but nor really-and her sick time I am sure is accruing like mad. I guess that is what she can take so much vacation and time off. I finally got really angry about it when she called out yesterday and was not able to be here to help with my second parent presentation last night. I found a friendly secretary and alerted her to the issue and she assured me I did the right thing and that she would be monitored. I am slowly growing tired of the crap I am dealing with as far as she is concerned.
- The parent groups I did last week and this week yielded a great turnout and the feedback from the surveys indicated that it was a needed and appreciated forum for them to have their questions heard and answered. I felt good when one of the surveys said " BEANS is GREAT!!" (ok, so it didn't say beans, but in the interest of anonymity, I changed the name-but they meant ME, someone thinks I am GREAT!!) I felt good about what I had created and provided for them. I have some great follow-up ideas to develop.
- I worked with the trainer last Friday and he KICKED MY ASS-I mean, I was sore for days. I also think I may have overdid it and now have a knee that hurts-bad. This is the knee they were supposed to replace the ACL on in December. When they went in for surgery, it wasn't as bad as they thought, so they just cleaned up the debris and said maybe in the future it would tear completely and they would/could replace it then. I have taken a break from the gym since Tuesday, but I still feel pain when I stand from sitting, or try to do stairs. I will see trainer today and will see what he thinks. Maybe he can work my abs or arms until they can't move either-I will just be a big old messy blob that can't move.
- My session last week with the trainer resulted in me having a slight breakdown about my body image and difficulty running up and down stairs 20 times and how fat and lazy I was and nothing was ever going to change and woe is me, blah blah blah. While I spent the next 24 hours sulking, I also came to the conclusion that I know what I need to do, so just do it damn it. I spent Sunday cooking protein laden things and just in this week by cutting out most carbs like bread and potatoes and cereal, my weight has gone down 5 lbs. Nothing else changed except my carb intake. I can't believe that my body responds and reacts that way to carbs. I wonder if others with PCOS find this, too. At least it is enough to inspire me to keep going.
Friday, September 22, 2006
It seems like it has been a while since I have been able to write. I don't have one thing to talk about, so I will just do some free association with what is in my head-