Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Sound off

Good Tuesday Afternoon-

Arghh- school violence is on my mind-most particular the incident in Lancaster, PA that happened yesterday--not far from where we are. I just don't get it. I know people are troubled, but what the heck causes someone to go into a school and execute little kids? I just have so much trouble wrapping my head around some of this stuff. I know people are troubled beyond belief, but here was a seemingly normal man who one day SNAPS--just like that goes into an Amish school and shoots people.

I guess with all of my past troubles, I wonder "Will I ever be that person who just ups and SNAPS". I would like to say I wouldn't be, or that YOU wouldn't be, but do you think this guy, or any person who does these things thinks about this stuff when they just snap? I know I am rambling, but I just am riveted by human kind and wonder where we have gone wrong-- I know I won't be that person, but it makes you wonder sometimes.

In other news, a recent development has come about in the job concerns I have had. I talked to Wonderwoman yesterday to let her know I didn't have enough work to do and I was concerned about the direction we were going in-not enough work, no prospects of increasing the load. I had some other things to discuss with her as well. She didn't offer much help and was defensive at times about some of the things I was bringing up with her. So we came up with a plan, a few things I could do. etc. Then today I was approached by the Director of another department and told about a job opening that would be posted in the next few days. I would be doing a similar job, but the pay would be more, I would be very busy, and although I would be employed by the same company, it would be an off site location about 10 minutes from my house. She introduced me to the Assistant Director of that Program and told me to email them if I was interested. I emailed that I was interested, and now I have to figure out what to do with Wonderwoman, and whether I should even take this opportunity.

I would be working with families and managing their services-including assigning people to directly work the cases. It would involve some supervision and a lot of paperwork and organization, and a little of direct family contact. It would be a job that, while not the perfect of perfect jobs, I could do my job and leave, and get my clinical fix doing private work as a therapist and working with the sibling group I just started to co-facilitate.

I am concerned about a few things. The first is that I think the program I am currently in would suffer a great deal-not that I have done major fabulous things, but Wonderwoman has no clue what I have been doing with the program for the last 5 months, and I have built up a great rapport with those I work with. Secondly, I am worried that she will bad mouth me till the cows come home. She has a way of letting you know how she feels about people who she feels have wronged her, and I could see her viewing my moving on as a personal issue. I am not sure how to deal with this. I know I am unhappy with her leadership-or lack thereof- and the way in which she handles me and the program. I know that without much change and restructuring, the outlook is very similar in months to come.

I am also NOT a very assertive person at times, and I don't want to be bullied about this. If I decide to do this, I want her to be ok with it. Though I know she probably won't be. I mean, who would be ok with losing their one and only staff. Besides, it might mean she has to actually work. I know some other people will be unhappy with me, but I need to worry about me at times, right? I just spoke to the Director again who has all but said once I apply I would be hired, and that the only way I wouldn't be is if the head honchos decide to not let me transfer. That could get ugly, but I am not worrying about that now.

So what would you do??? I need some advice??? My plan right now is to talk to the DP, and if she agrees that I am not out of my mind for considering this, then I would talk to Wonderwoman on Friday-right before she leaves for vacation . . .

On a final note, I saw the doc last week about my knee and he said it was NOT my ACL, but that I bruised something else. No big deal. He wants me to get a brace for when I work out, but other than that I will be ok. I was very relieved. We had a great weekend-went to the shore and took part in some amusement and relaxation--oh, and some shopping. I bought a new bag, not to be confused with a purse, because I don't carry purses!! Just to be clear :) This isn't the exact one by Hobo, but it is the same color, it just has different straps.

I guess that is all for now-thanks for tuning in!!

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