Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Hello blog, it's me . . .beans!

Yeah, so I have been absent for a little bit. I did talk to DP about it last night and I think I will try and blog at least once a week. I do miss it. . . just taking the time to get the thoughts out there. Seems I don't take the time to stop long enough to catch up to myself--though in all honesty when I do I scare myself!

The new job responsibilites have been going really well. I am so freaking busy that I have little time to complain and wish for a life in a place where it is always 70 degrees and sunny. I am now the coordinator of children's admissions and family services. I deal with all the new admissions and families coming in, which also means I have a lot more say in who gets to come and not come. I have alredy had almost the same number of admissions they had last year--in the last 3 months!! I am seriously rocking it!! It's also hard to be in the position of turning away so many families. We have gotten so many referrals for adolescents that are over the age of 18 and really have serious issues. I can't imagine families trying to place them now . . .it's harder to do it younger, but even harder to get them placed at 18+.  I have one school district in CT that I would say would write me a check if I would take their kid . . .sad sometimes. Dealing with a lot of NY school districts and learning all of their whacky ways of doing things! I am flying to FL in two weeks to screen a kid there. Staying overnight in Orlando . . .I have never been do Disney and it seems like a sin to be able to fly over it and be so near yet not be able to stay and visit!

Home is good. We have been working on some home improvement projects, and most of you that read my blog are also on FB so you have seen and heard all about that. It is nice to do stuff, but crazy how much it costs to do them. We are trying to do some stuff ourselves, like laying a small patio, but that was really hard. It is a nice spot now though! We are getting an estimate for a new small fence around an expanded garden area, though the garden is decidedly bare right now. We were going to buy stuff to make raised beds, then we decided that we will make the raised beds in the fall. So we need to get dirt and get going on planting the peas. We are about 3 weeks late in getting peas in the ground. We did start tomatoes, peppers, and eggplant. Can't wait for fresh stuff. We will rent a rototiller with our neighbors this weekend and get that sqaured away.

Family stuff is . . .well. You know. Had my bro down a month or so ago to see the down's specialist at CHOP and they determined that he didn't have early dementia, he was just acting out. I could have told you that, but it was good for me to get some support from the clinic. They have a social worker and a nurse practitioner who have been good. I am hoping to get the folks set up with a nutritionist as they are in serious need of help with their food issues.  Bro in TX is having a hard time. SIL is no longer working and was hospitalized for a suicide attempt.  He doesn't know what to do and refuses to get help for himself. He says they want to move back Northeast, and I am not objecting because TX is just too damn far and they have no support out there. It's a big giant mess and she isn't willing to do what she needs to in order to get the bipolar under control. She admitted in the hospital that she wanted to kill my brother and little tyke, and so brother is afraid to leave her alone with LT and she is saying now she wants to be a stay at home mom to which he responds hell NO!! What a mess . . .not my mess but I feel for him none the less. I think they will decide what they will do at the end of the school year since little tyke is in kindergarten this year. Shit how time flies!!

And for my issues. Hanging in there. Doing a lot of work on trauma stuff, and body image. Seems as if I have pretty cruddy body image! Hahahahahah . . .I laugh because it is out of control. I lost like 45 lbs and this weekend saw myself on video from the weekend and I looked larger than ever. I have no ability to see myself for what I am.  It is really very sad to be honest. I wish I could just not worry about it anymore and just be happy with who I am and what I am doing with my life.

I am off tonight to the final LCSW supervision group that I have been facilitating. I was co-faciliatating in hopes that I would be able to start my own supervision group, but turns out I have to be 5 years post LSW and that will be next year. So I will reclaim my Wednesday's and perhaps have some chances to hang out with some old pals!

Hope all is well in your corners. See you next week. Same time, same beanie channel!


Lynilu said...

sighhhh. I've missed you.

Job = yay!

No Disneyworld = Boo!

Home projects = Yay!

Family (various) = Yay! and Boo!

Self-image = Don't give up. I know it's a struggle, but you're worth it. See ourselves in pictures, videos, even mirrors is hard for many of us, so know you're not alone.

No more supervision = Yay!

Whew, I'm worn out! ;D Seriously, I'm glad you're back. I've missed your blog posts, even though we kept up on FB. I love getting the full story.

K J and the kids said...

I can't imagine what you have to see and hear with your job. ugh.

Why are you flying to FL ? Is the child from NY ?
Why don't you go to Disney ? Come on :)

Next year is a good year to start your own group.

I think most of us wish we could see ourselves as others see us. Or maybe not. Either way, keep trying. :)

Daisy said...

Glad to have you back!!!!

Manblogger641 said...

I see you as a beautiful lady.