Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New year . . .Maybe!

Things around here have been busy . . .we did the whole holiday and birthday thing, and then yesterday we headed up to the folks house to celebrate my brother's birthday and just have random family time. We saw extended family that we have not seen in a few years. Funny how kids get older and when you last saw them they were in like, diapers, and now they are playing football in middle school . . .

Something interesting happened. I have two cousins . .they are about 34 and 37 years old. The oldest has a daughter that is about 9 years old. My brother, who has down syndrome just turned 37. Now he is cognitively about the age of a 7/8 year old, and doesn't think that he is "special". So the last time we visited this cousin and family was for my dad's birthday party in November. While there, my brother kept telling little cousin that he loved her, and wanted to write letters to her, and wanted to hug her. It got to be a bit much and we tried to redirect him as much as we could, but she just did not understand why this grown man was saying this stuff to her, and he didn't understand why he should NOT say/do these things. Now while her mother had grown up with my brother, these kids are relatively new to my brother since we see each other so infrequently.

Also while we were there for the birthday celebration last month, there was a comment made to the effect that the kids didn't need to know about DP and I just yet . .they weren't ready for that. God forbid they should know their cousin is a lesbo . . .

Before yesterdays' visit, my mom received a call from cousin saying that her daughter just felt really uncomfortable around my brother and that they were coming, but to be aware that she was not really comfortable around him and wanted her to approach him, and thought is best that he not approach her. Now, he was on the phone eavesdropping the whole time, so when they came yesterday, he wanted to talk to her about it. It just made me a bit angry . . I guess because I take for granted that people should just accept and love him, but I recognize that at 37 years old, the things he does is not necessarily cute anymore. I think I also resent him and what it means to have him in my life at time, but that is a while other blog!!

I think most of all I feel out of control with the situation, because I know I have very little say over what happens in my brother's life now, and I would have spoken with him about how what he was doing was not appropriate. My mother yells as him a lot and he doesn't retain her direction because, I would imagine, he is using all his energy to ignore her . . .which many of us do. She is a lovely person, but she is miserable with her life and she has no ability to talk to people in a way that makes them want to help her. She is demanding and not very likable.

So many things running through my head . . .Anyway, it has just been busy. Today we have been lounging around and making preparations for returning to the Atkins diet starting tomorrow. We did this several years ago with great results. We will do it again for a bit, and then probably switch to something that is more focused on the Glycemic Index principles, which is the way they recommend people with PCOS eat. We'll see. I am not as excited as I was yesterday, I am just worried that I will get bored and not follow through--plus is requires consuming foods that have typically been on the list of foods that I don't feel comfortable eating in large quantities. We say away from much of the high fat stuff, but still. It is also much harder to do now that I have a job where I am out and about, great for the days I am home, but the other days could be tricky. Plus I am not looking forward to the inevitable detox from sugar and carbs . . .I am so thankful though that DP is doing this as well, sure does make it feel easier to deal with and manage!!

In any case, we will be going shopping soon and having one last carb filled dinner at Chipotle tonight.

I hope everyone's New Year is a fabulous one, and I look forward to many new adventures and experiences as I continue to focus on being "Exactly Where I am". Thanks everyone for joining me on the ride.


Tom said...

These are just some of the scenarios that play through my head from time-to-time. Wondering how my son will act with others when he is an adult, but what I really want to know about is how it will be for my older daughter to grow up with a brother who has DS. I would love to hear more about growing up with your older brother (my daughter is two years older than my son).

I also did the Atkins diet about 5 years ago and lost about 70 lbs! Wish I would have stuck to it, but we also have many Chipotle's too near for someone who has the will-power of a gnat. :)

Happy new Year and best of luck.

Jenster said...

Hey! Thanks for letting me come on the ride with you!!

I'm starting back on Weight Watchers - technically Monday. And exercising - technically Monday. Hopefully the next Monday we have...

Maybe we'll be HOT whenever we go rafting or repelling or whatever the heck it was you suggested to the ladies.

Lynilu said...

Hi, Beans!

I find it unfortunate that your cousin and her daughter are having "issues" with this. I realize that it isn't easy for a child to understand, but it is also sad that she is missing out on a very sweet part of life.

My niece's husband has a nephew with DS. Her daughter has been around him her whole life and they are best of friends. My niece and her hub have educated her from day one about DS. Even as a very young child, she knew that her cousin would always be special, but she treated him, and still does, as if nothing were different.

In fairness, the young man I speak of is probably a little higher functioning, probably around 12 yo. But the thing is that my great niece thinks nothing of hugs from her cuz, taking him almost anywhere she goes, including him at her table at family gatherings, etc. It's all about the education, both of the other parents and the other children. But we can't force anyone to educate themselves. Very sad, because I've always found DS folks to be sweet, loving, and accepting of us, including our shortcomings!!!

Thanks for your note to me, and I hope to see you back and verbal at my blog!