Sunday, June 24, 2007

Some understanding??

I had asked my boss's boss for a meeting for tomorrow-which is my day off. This is the woman who in my mind is quite verbally abusive toward people. We have had several incidents where I have been the target of her tyrants, and I am just needing some understanding right now. My direct supervisor has been away and this woman has been in the office much more lately.

By all means, I do not expect her to change her ways and be "nice" to me, but understand that right now things are rather difficult and somehow manage to throw in there that her yelling at me is not helping. I KNOW I am a good worker, and people are quite shocked when I tell the stories of how she berates me and treats me. I have toyed with the idea of going to HR, but I don't know how confidential that is, and I can't afford to lose my job right now.

In the meeting tomorrow I plan to let her know that right now things are extremely difficult for me with my family and that I will be dealing with this things for a little bit until we are more settled with a plan, especially for my brother. This may mean I am not as uber flexible as she wants, and if she says "jump" , I may not be able to. I think I should say something to her about her yelling and tone, but I don't know that it will be heard, and I am not out to annoy her further, I just need her to understand where I am at right now. That I am still committed to doing my job 100%, but some compassion would be helpful.

I just don't want to have to go to work and feel sick-I mean, really sick to the point that I don't eat and feel like barfing. I like what I do, and I understand that she also has a job to do, but I would venture to say I am one of the better few doing the job, and her criticism and bullying shoots me straight back to my mother's abuse, and lord knows this is all slapping me in the face again with all these issues with my mom-but that is a whole other post!

This is also so difficult since we are closing on the house this week, and we just found out my partner will be laid off . . .so I feel stuck, DP feels stuck, and we are all just feeling rather crappy at a time when we should be excited and thrilled about this house. DP has a interview tomorrow-so I am hoping and praying that goes well. She is fabulous, so I can't imagine why it would not go well!!

So I meet with her on my terms, on my day off, so if she is mean I can cry at home and not have to compose myself while at work.

I just hope she can hear me . . .and not add to the pile of crap. I can hope for anything, right?

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