Thursday, September 07, 2006

Just one of those days

Ok, so I have been trying to keep this an upbeat place to be-you know, a place for me to discover the joys in life I have been missing in the past by filling my head with negativity and such.

But sometimes you just have one of those days. The day started fairly well-until I got out of bed. I had one of those mornings where even after the third outfit you tried on, you still feel crappy about how you look. Then you just search for the "safe" outfit. Does anyone know what I mean when I say this? This is the outfit you can wear when you feel too bloated, fat, or otherwise unsuitable for public viewing.

This is all the more discouraging since I have been going to the gym now for about a month-and I have seen NOTHING!!! I thought I had some weight loss, but NO, this morning on the scale I swear it said "Fat Pig Warning" UHHH!! Now, for some honesty, I know my food hasn't been the greatest. I haven't purged as frequently-maybe once or twice in the last month. No worse or better than it had been before I started the gym, but don't you think that if my food stayed the same AND I added exercise I would see SOMETHING? I also know all about how you gain muscle and such, so I tried on a pair of shorts that didn't fit me earlier this summer, and guess what? They still don't fit.

Then I just get so pissed at my job. I know I am good at what I do, and I just feel like my talents are wasting away here, hour by hour when I have little to do but sit on my ass all day long. I have some things coming up in the next two weeks, resulting in some work, but still, I can't help think that this is not what I thought spending so much money on a master's degree would land me.

Hmm . . .anything else I need to get off my chest??

Oh, Wonderwoman (aka my boss-->named so b/c I am always wondering if she will be in, if she will be friendly/no boundary boss, or upset for no apparent reason boss) apparently she can call off sick-from her work at home job-then somehow manage NOT to report it to the attendance system. We are able to see who has called off on a daily attendance list, and lo and behold, she was not on it. She has not been on it several times. How much time must she be accruing by never calling in her absences. It is not like anyone but me would notice, but I DO notice. I notice when I have no one to ask my questions to, no one to be a "department" with, no one to tell me I am doing a great job. . .

I have been accruing time off so painfully slow I could scream. I will be lucky to have time off to take for Christmas. In the past I was used to 4 weeks vacation right from the start. Going to two weeks was a shock, but I just wish I could work from home and then not have to be accountable to anyone when I don't follow procedures.

Ok, so how can I turn my day around? That's what this blog is all about-turning the negativity around . .

I will try and do the following today:
  1. I will drink more water. I have been seriously slacking on my water drinking.
  2. I will write down my food for the day-just to keep track.
  3. I will NOT become obsessive about writing my food down.
  4. I will focus on the 12 families coming next week to my presentation and how I can use my skills to help them.
  5. I will not whine at the gym today.
  6. I will not let a bad morning ruin my whole day . . .
We'll see later how I do with all of this. Hope you are all faring well today, thanks for reading.

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