Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Challenging a thought #1

I am on a business trip and I notice a woman yesterday who I think to myself is obviously anorexic. (clearly anyone I see who is that small HAS to be anorexic, right? isn't that what we think?) She is extremely thin and has a halter top on-bones sticking out and everything. They sit in front of me, and after being angry that they would choose THAT spot over the 3000 other spots . . .I think, wow, see that is why I should remain eating disordered . . .becasue I am not doing my ED well enough-look at her, she is doing it the right way . . .then . .

STOP!! STOP!!! STOP!! No, ok, does that look healthy, does she look healthy, does she even really look happy with anything happening around her-no! She looks really sick . . .like she should be somewhere with someone helping her-

Besides, I AM HAPPY right now. Sure, I have some hang ups, but that doesn't mean that in a weak moment I have to give into the the urges, right? I don't have to be defined by these impossible images of what others think is beautiful, right?

I am proud of the way I ate yesterday and today so far, so I have nothing to worry about.

I am proud of me, damn it. And I won't let someone else's disorder take that away from me. Not anymore . . .

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