Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Unexpected gifts

It has been a while-things have been a little-and I do mean little-bit busier at work, so I have had less time to screw around on here. We ended up not going swimming last week due to a storm that was looming-so we went out to eat instead. It was a good time. I also had dinner with a really good friend who has seen me through the worst of the worst and still loves and cares for me. She and her partner have been foster moms for a baby for about 9 months now and we had dinner. It was great to be in such loving and accepting company--as well as for me to be reminded how far I have come since she and I became friends up on a mountain about 10 years ago now. How we are growing up . . .

I had therapy this week and we discussed body image . . .and how I would be so much better off if I never had to worry about how I looked, or worry about what other people thought about how I looked. As far away from my eating disorder as I get, I still feel as if I will have this lurking body image distortion for a long time to come. It makes me sad because no matter how good everything else around me seems, the disdain I have for my body feels like it can overshadow any of that. The good doc and I will continue to work on that, among other things.

Today's topic is unexpected gifts, and I named it so for a couple of reasons. Yesterday in the north eastern part of the world, we had a major thunderstorm which knocked out power to a great number of people. However, before the storm, DP and I had a date--with the cutest 8 month old baby boy. He was so damn cute, and since it has been hot and our pool is broken, I was on a mission to find an inflatable pool for us to all hang out in. I went to Wal-mart, and needless to say that the 99 degree heat had cleared out any and all things water related from the store. I was off to Target. I was NOT leaving without something I could fill with water and sit myself in. I wandered around and finally found the water toys section. I searched and searched, no pools-DAMN it I thought . . .Then, out of the corner of my eye, hiding behind a blow up palm tree sprinkler, I saw it. It was a large round inflatable pool, complete with a bench and 3 cup holders!!! How perfect. I snatched that thing up and inspected it. It had come open, but the pool seemed to have been untouched. I walked through the store and felt as if I had to be on guard. I had the last pool . . .I felt so victorious!!

Home I went with my find and DP blew the pool up while I entertained the small rolley polley child. Did I mention he was CUTE? We only blew up one ring of the three ringed pool as we could see it was getting late and a storm was rolling in. Just as we got to the porch, this wild wind blew in and we were being stormed upon. The lights went out and it became very hard to keep our little friend awake between the flicker of the candles and little to do. Good thing baby toys are mostly battery operated.

DP and I found a yatzee game and played by candlelight for a bit until we went out and sat on the porch and rocked for a bit-in the quiet without the pressure of TV, phones, computer. It was nice.

Today the job had no power and we were able to leave this morning after they determined that the power would not be back on any time soon. So I scheduled a massage and will leave soon to go. DP is still at work and just reported to me that she is a "sweatball" They have little power and no AC-good thing she will have a new job soon!

It reminds me how good my life is and how much I love and appreciate those around me. I only wish I could remember that when my negative thoughts get the best of me.


Jennifer said...

Remembering the good things are is hard for me too.

Jennifer said...

bah, late night.

What I meant to say was:

Remembering the good things is hard for me too.