Excited!

I know some of you read my Facebook, and know that I will be going to see Jennifer Knapp in concert at a local coffee shop. I am BEYOND excited, and just also bought myself a ticket for the second show that was added. DP will go to the first show with me and I will stay for the second by myself.

For those of you that do not know who she is, let me explain. She is a very well known Christian musician who came out last year as a lesbian. As you can imagine, the industry was not very welcoming of this. She sort of fell off the planet and lived in another country for a time and then last year decided to come out, and also came out with a new album.

It's been a long time since I have been this excited about something, but it also had me stop and think about the role music plays in my life and what it has meant to me over the years. Jennifer's music has seen me through the worst of times, and times that have been really good. I remember listening to her when I was hospitalized for my eating disorder, and just staring out the window-- scared of myself, scared of everything around me and holding onto every one of those words as if they were a life boat. Her singing about god, and being lost and broken and just wanting to feel whole again. Finding out just this year that she has come out as a lesbian has made those words even more meaningful. I know now why I was able to connect to them as I had . . .how to be in a relationship with god, your broken self, your gay self . . .it all makes sense now. The christian music industry that loved and awarded her music has turned their back on her and I wonder if this is the kind of god I want to be associated with. I am glad I am back at the church that I am, and no longer feel like I have to make those choices about what's more important . . god or being true to myself.