What a situation

There's a situation at work that is making me slightly ill.

We have a young man-23yrs- who has MR and brain damage due to a seizure disorder where he used to fall and hit is head all the time. His mother immigrated to the US from Jamaica when he was younger to give him a better chance at good docs and such. He ends up at our facility about 8 years ago. He had some serious behaviors like running away, hitting others, etc. He was very active--loves riding his bike, running around with the maintenance department, etc.

He also had very bad scoliosis that was affecting his breathing. The social worker got his home state to allow him to stay at our place post 21 until he had the surgery to fix his back since when he went back to his home state for adult programming he wouldn't have the insurance to pay for the surgery. TONS of hours of advocating for him lead him to the surgery. He has the surgery and the next day the cage that was holding his spine together popped and he is now a paraplegic. No feeling from the waist down. A year later he still asked when we will allow him to walk again . . .

So in the midst of this he is non-compliant with personal care--once being totally toilet trained he is now in diapers and doesn't like people to see him naked. He pulls out his catheter which has causes lesions that have become infected. He has injured a number of staff during his aggressive outbursts . . it goes on. He is a huge liability the agency says and they charge me with the tasks of making his home state take him back--citing that we said we'd keep him until the surgery was done and they could place him in home state.

They have nothing to meet his needs--mom isn't a good advocate . . and we send a discharge letter for the end of this month. They have nothing for him and as a result he will go to a state center. This makes me so sad on many levels. People here are burnt out because of him, and we are not an appropriate placement for him. But it makes me so sad when I tell them my concerns about where he is going and they say they don't care. I know they are frustrated, but this kid is bound for a life of being drugged up to assure compliance and I am saddened by the fact that people are just congratulating me for getting him moved.

He will go on Monday, and his mother told me the other day that she know I didn't care if he dies, as long as he got out of our place. This hurt--because I know in part that this is not right for him. I feel angry and upset about this . . .though I know I am fighting a losing battle . . .

These are the days that being a social worker and seeing the ills of the world suck big time. In reading Cheryl's blog about her experiences with school social work I know I am not alone in feeling like life is hitting us over the head faster than we can dole out resources--

GRRRRRR.And there are no other social workers where I work . .I work with all clinical behavior folks and today I tried to explain to my supervisor how I was feeling and she told me I was becoming too involved and that I needed to separate and know that this was not what was best for him. I told her I knew that but I still had feelings about it . . .

In other news things are shaking up a bit here at home and I am excited to see what is in store for us.

Hope you are all well in your corners of the world.

Brain hurts

My brain is so full that it feels like it is about to burst and roll off of my body. A ton going on lately and I am trying to stay afloat . . .

Busy time at work--graduation was last week and it is my job to make sure that everyone has a place to go after graduation and it was down to the wire.

It has also been raining-like every day for the last two months I think . . .it gets old after a while and I am ready for some nice weather...the only good thing is that we haven't had to use the air conditioner yet this year and that is great!

Meeting Miss Daisy and other random notes

It's been quite a week. We went kayaking last weekend and it was absolutely fabulous!! I can't explain how free I feel on the water . . .gliding through this powerful source of life and being . . .just small me on this great big lake and the trees and birds and animals. It was just great. I even tried a sit inside kayak this time and did great. I was afraid my bum wouldn't fit without a great deal of WD40, but I did well and actually kind of liked it a bit better. I will do a thorough comparison before we ever get one- for the amount of money we spend to rent, I am thinking we should just buy! The place we rent from sells their supply at the end of the season, so maybe we'll go that route.

Then it was just a busy week at work. We had the memorial service for one of the students that passed away a little over a month ago and that was just sad .. .I mean happy to remember him, but the family put together a slide show and it is just rough.

Then on Friday I got to meet my blogger buddy Daisy! and her man friend. It was awesome to put a face and more of a personality to this person who I have been blogging with. Though I was nervous that I would be stood up, and my friends were glad DP was going along in case Daisy ended up being a blogger-phile or something. It was nothing like that! We shared a great meal at Bahama Breeze and chatted about just about everything. I think it was a wonderful start to a great new friendship. Our next mission--GAY BINGO!! I can't wait. Thanks Daisy and Man-Friend for a great night and a warm welcome!

Yesterday we did a whole lot . ..since it had rained all week, we still hadn't buried our last guinea pig friend who died earlier this week. He hung out in the freezer until we could get out there and properly bury him. He died very suddenly--I noticed one day he wasn't looking too well and then that night before we went to bed he died. I think it was because I changed his food-I felt he needed something more exotic . . .and I have serious food issues. DP thinks it is because she was wondering what would could do with the corner in the living room without a big cage there . . .either way he was joined many a friend over the rainbow bridge!

We also went to the dog park where we had a super dog meet up. Three of our friends came and the pups played for about 2 hours. After that they went for baths and I went to get my friend for respite care for the afternoon. We then went to this sad strawberry festival . . .which should have been named " old folks festival". There was one little pot of strawberries and lots of older folk. We were disappointed that there weren't berries to buy, but we had a bowl full and then went back to deal with the garden and the 'hog. This will be another post later.

Then we went to a local fair. Now, this fair was sad because it was small and nothing like DP and I remember a fair being like. Oh, and tit was also on the grounds of the old Franklin Mint Museum which is just now all empty and overgrown and sad looking . . .It was a lot of overpriced games with crappy prizes, and just about anything you could want . . .fried. We did partake of fried oroes as we have seen them before and always wondered. They were yummy, but I could do without eating them again. We did that and then took our friend home.

Then we assembled our new grill that we got for our anniversary. Our cute little Weber Q was not working right, and we decided to upgrade to the real Weber Performer:

We put it together last night without killing each other . . .though we got to the last piece and realized the work surface was broken. No problem . . .we called Weber and they are going to ship a new one right away and send Fex Ex to get the old one. How it that for service. I have never used a charcoal grill before, but I am excited to learn. We also got a veggie basket and pizza maker for the grill . . .hehe . . .I am excited. Rebecky is coming over tonight for our first cook out.

Well, that's about all for now. I am off to church now . . .we have our grand opening for our new building today which will be our worship space until the final phase is done . . .but not for a few ears. I am actually thinking about trying to church hop for the summer and see what I can come up with. I love the church I go to now, and the people are amazing, but I want something that I don't have to feel bad about with the whole gay thing . . .and we found a few churches nearby that are welcoming and affirming churches . . .and I think DP will even check them out with me. Can't beat that!

Ok, over and out or now . . .stay tuned for the more about the 'hog war going on!