Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Yesterday after therapy I had a meeting with the personal trainer. He noted I was quiet and I told him I'd just come from therapy and was winding down. He asked what I wanted to do, and I said "I don't know-kick or punch the crap out of something" He looked and me and told me he would be right back.
He came back with pads and brought me up to the boxing area and we did cardio stuff up there which consisted of kicking-ALOT!! He told me I had the best balance he thinks he'd ever seen, and I thought "Duh, I did gymnastics for many years" It felt good to kick-though at first I was really intimidated. I always looked at doing intense physical things to let off steam as not something I would do. I worried too much about how it looked to others. I know when I was in some of the hospitals I was at, they tried to get you to use bats with mats to get angry. I don't get outwardly angry-but that is a whole other post. I always turned my anger inward . . .
Well, there I was-sweating my ass off and kicking the crap out of this little guy. I was all smiles when I left and I didn't give a crap about what other people thought. (ok, maybe I thought a little about it, but I didn't obsess over it)
Today I was tired when I woke up and scheduled a meeting off campus-you know, scheduled a meeting that would last until 10:30am. The boss and the boss's boss are not in and I did not care. I will leave early, too so I can go to the gym before my group tonight. This has got to pick up soon, or I will lose my mind.