Well, it sure has been a very long time. I bet no one was expecting me to come back talking about the overflowing toilet-but alas it was a good metaphor for why I have not been around. Today the toilet overflowed and I sat there watching it helplessly-hoping it would all go back in. The lucky thing was that there was nothing IN the toilet water-just water. But anyway, I digress.
So life has taken me for a spin in the toilet and has spit me out. Just to give you a few highlights:
1. Work has been NUTS!! I mean it-I work with freaking lunatics-or at least one right now. The girl I worked with and loved decided she was going to leave after getting married, and her replacement is one heck of a lady. She is an older woman-say like mid 50's-who is CRAZY. She is one of those folks who has done everything you have done-only better and more often. She claims she came from corporate America where she worked as a quality assurance person-yet we have spent countless minutes of our days trying to explain to her how to save a freaking word file. Wouldn't you think someone of her prestige and experience would know how to do that? She has not been able to do ANYTHING independently except complain. Then she wears the same two pairs of velvet pants over and over-with scary belts that are like 5 inches thick . . .I don't mean to be petty, but she is just one of those people that annoys you just by looking at her. She also has a voice that she breaks out only when talking on the phone-it is like she takes on a whole new personality. In any case, she has been there for 2 months and still knows how to do nothing. So my caseload is enormous to make up for her incompetence. Mind you, this is the second crazy in the office-though I do have to say, the one I mentioned in my last post has done a 360 and she even came to me a few weeks ago and said to me "I am so sorry if I ever acted like her (meaning the new whackadoo)." She has been great since.
2. Life in general has been ok. I have decided to come off of my OCD meds to see what that does to me. In my life I have been on a variety of different medications since the age of 17. Sometimes I was on 4 or 5 things. I am only on one, and I have been at that for quite sometime. I have been fairly stable and thought maybe I could try coming off of them. I am at approximately half of the dosage I was on, and will reduce again beginning today. I have not noticed much change, except that I don't feel so much like filtering my thoughts and what I say as much. It has been great for therapy-I have even been able to say "penis and vagina" which I know should not be a big deal, but it is. I have also touched chicken AND ground beef, with my HANDS!! Again, not huge for most, but for me it is major. The best part about the meat is that I lived to tell about it. We will see what no meds is like. I am trying to be realistic and know that it may just be that I need to be medicated, and if so, that is ok. BUT, in the event that I can be ok without, I want to at least say I gave it a shot.
3. DP and I are seriously thinking about looking for a house in the summer. We are so needing a place to call ours. There are so many things we want to do as far as being more earth friendly that we cannot do in an apartment. We also want a puppy. We have been looking at the following place for a
puppy. We love our kitty, but we definitely need a puppy friend. We had a small scare where we thought DP would be laid off, but it seems she has been spared and will most likely get a renewed contract for next year. We are very happy about this.
I guess that is most of it. There have been other little things like finding out a good friend is pregnant again, another friend found her her boyfriend was writing scary ass erotic porn stuff on the Internet and is now very sad and I can't figure out how to help her, family drama with mom falling and
whacking her head very hard and not being quite right for a few days, sister in law going back into the psych hospital for probable bipolar. Other than that, I mean nothing much!!
I am working on a potential gig that will allow me to work privately with families who have special needs children. I am hoping the church I am attending will allow me to work with families for free using their space so that I can get some more clinical experience. I am working toward my LCSW and I am great at the case management stuff, but I would like to have some more clinical experience with families and siblings. I met with them to pitch the idea and they liked it, so now I am supposed to be writing a proposal, which I have been procrastinating on. I think I am scared that I cannot be a real social worker . . .I know I have good skills and experience, but for some reason the idea of sitting face to face with people in such a formal way scares me. I know I need to dive in head first and do it, and I will . . .wish me luck.
I have been doing the low carb thing again, and losing weight ever so slowly. I decided to go off it for a few days, and I am back on it starting Monday again. I had a brief scare where my blood pressure was out of whack and I found lumps in my chest. The doc said the One a Day Weight Smart vitamin was causing this, so I have switched. But of course with these new developments and my newly less medicated self, I thought I was going to die. Clearly this was all a sign and I spent a good deal of time thinking about how this was all going to kill me-then after a few days and a visit to the doctor I self regulated and stopped spending so much time obsessing over dying.
OK, enough for now. I don't want to overwhelm anyone, and I have a piece of "so NOT low carb cheesecake" waiting for me. I hope to be back soon. I don't like being away so long!!
Hope all is well in your parts of the world!
