Sometimes things just seem dark and you have to remember that these times are meaningful in the journey as well. . . .just wish that was easier to take in at times.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Tale of Two Neighbors
This post has been brewing for a little bit and I thought it was time to share.
We live on a busy road, and so having the normal neighborhood feel is not something we get to experience. We share a driveway with our neighbors T and L. They are the nicest people around-and I am NOT just saying that because the first time we met them they invited us over to swim in their pool and continue to allow us free reign in their pool when it is open!! While that certainly helps, they are just great. They have a daughter our age, and have always been very helpful to us-loaning us tools and helping with things around the house and yard. We take turns watching each other's dogs at times, have each other's house keys, and overall enjoy a very nice neighborly relationship. Recently T retired early from the post office and is kinda bored. He's been hinting around about wanting to find a part time job, but then he recently had his prostate removed and I think has decided he likes being home. He thought he could be our lawn and dog boy!! I think we have worked out a deal that he's going to let the dogs out twice a day and mow the lawn for us. I guess we'll give him some money for that, and it will all be worth it because I hate that Addie pees in the house and I hate mowing the lawn (truth be told I like mowing the lawn, it's just my really bad knee and ankle do not like mowing the lawn).
On the other side of us is a house that looks quite ramshackle-y.
We never really knew the guy who lived over there-though I think we did know that that he lived there with his mother who gets oxygen delivered. He does sit outside and smoke . . . . The backyard is filled with stuff, including a shower stall and a boat that we've never seen move. I had talked to him once when we got Riley to let him know we were getting a puppy and to let us know if they become bothersome with barking and whatnot. Found out his name, and that he looked like he could be an axe murderer with missing teeth. (consequently there was a report one day that an old woman had been found dead in her basement in our area and I thought for sure he'd off-d his mother) A little while later we discovered that he did dry walling and finally asked him to come give us a quote to help us with a project. He came over and we didn't do anything about it for a while because we didn't have money. Then this winter rolled around and we all seemed to be out shoveling a lot and cleaning off roofs and the like. His step-brother was staying with him, because it was too far to drive a half hour home each day and they were working on a project in the house.
Hang in there--I am getting to the point . . .
We talk to them some during the snowstorms, loaned them a roof shovel thing, and began to talk some more. They hang outside the window of the room they are working on and throw venison jerky to the dogs . .they like this . . .both the boys and the dogs. We ask them to come over again and talk to us about our project. They give us a quote and tell us they can start in a few days.
I have to say I was worried--by looks alone and the fact that their house doesn't look overly taken care of. I worried that DP agreed to have them in the house by themselves, and worried what we would do if they messed up and took our money. We gave him $500 for the supplies and prayed for the best . . .
Needless to say the first night I waited for DP to call me and give me a report as I was staying at a house doing respite. She called and I help my breath waiting for the worst and she surprised me by saying not only did they do a nice job, but they cleaned up really well. The next few days were much of the same, and in the end they did a fabulous job!!! I felt really bad for being so judgmental and for thinking the things that I did about them. We gave them a decent bonus for the work they did, as they fix some extra things while they were here which was very kind of them. They loved the dogs and took great care to clean up as they went along. T and L were curious as well and wanted to know how they did, as we had talked a bunch about how those neighbors just seemed "different"
Since then we have talked to them more. DP has talked to the mother who is 88 or something and has lived quite the life. He was hanging out the window the other day while I was mowing the lawn and commented about how horrible the mower sounded. I said yeah, I knew we probably needed to change the filter or something, but that we never got around to it. He said to bring it over when we were done and he'd show us. We brought it over and he said if we left it with him he'd sharpen the blades and change the filter. He returned it a few days later and not only did he do what he said he would, but he cleaned it up and I dare say it looks like a brand new mower.
The real great part happened yesterday. We came home to find our nicely cleaned mower in our back yard, and T and L working on a project in their front yard. We went to check it out, and then went to the other neighbor to thank him for our mower and ask him how much we owed him (he said nothing, but we will get him a gift card or something). He asked if we heard about the accident the day before in front of our house and we said no, but went out to find all the glass in the front lawn by the pole that someone schmucked into. He was standing there with us, and T and L came over and we all began to talk, and for the first time T and L met the neighbor on the other side, and it just felt so good knowing that we could bring these two neighbors together. We had only every talked about the other, but yet they have never met and L grew up in that house . . .
The moral of this very very very long story is that it's nice to be challenged on the things that we think about others. I can't wait to learn how to play poker . . .the mother next store told me she'd teach us. She would also like to meet the dogs . . .she likes dogs and hears them playing and hoped she'd get to meet them. She also paints, and tells stories, and has a very sweet smile. He may look like he could be an axe murderer, but I am finding out and that he and his mother are great neighbors to have.
The End!
We live on a busy road, and so having the normal neighborhood feel is not something we get to experience. We share a driveway with our neighbors T and L. They are the nicest people around-and I am NOT just saying that because the first time we met them they invited us over to swim in their pool and continue to allow us free reign in their pool when it is open!! While that certainly helps, they are just great. They have a daughter our age, and have always been very helpful to us-loaning us tools and helping with things around the house and yard. We take turns watching each other's dogs at times, have each other's house keys, and overall enjoy a very nice neighborly relationship. Recently T retired early from the post office and is kinda bored. He's been hinting around about wanting to find a part time job, but then he recently had his prostate removed and I think has decided he likes being home. He thought he could be our lawn and dog boy!! I think we have worked out a deal that he's going to let the dogs out twice a day and mow the lawn for us. I guess we'll give him some money for that, and it will all be worth it because I hate that Addie pees in the house and I hate mowing the lawn (truth be told I like mowing the lawn, it's just my really bad knee and ankle do not like mowing the lawn).On the other side of us is a house that looks quite ramshackle-y.
We never really knew the guy who lived over there-though I think we did know that that he lived there with his mother who gets oxygen delivered. He does sit outside and smoke . . . . The backyard is filled with stuff, including a shower stall and a boat that we've never seen move. I had talked to him once when we got Riley to let him know we were getting a puppy and to let us know if they become bothersome with barking and whatnot. Found out his name, and that he looked like he could be an axe murderer with missing teeth. (consequently there was a report one day that an old woman had been found dead in her basement in our area and I thought for sure he'd off-d his mother) A little while later we discovered that he did dry walling and finally asked him to come give us a quote to help us with a project. He came over and we didn't do anything about it for a while because we didn't have money. Then this winter rolled around and we all seemed to be out shoveling a lot and cleaning off roofs and the like. His step-brother was staying with him, because it was too far to drive a half hour home each day and they were working on a project in the house.Hang in there--I am getting to the point . . .
We talk to them some during the snowstorms, loaned them a roof shovel thing, and began to talk some more. They hang outside the window of the room they are working on and throw venison jerky to the dogs . .they like this . . .both the boys and the dogs. We ask them to come over again and talk to us about our project. They give us a quote and tell us they can start in a few days.
I have to say I was worried--by looks alone and the fact that their house doesn't look overly taken care of. I worried that DP agreed to have them in the house by themselves, and worried what we would do if they messed up and took our money. We gave him $500 for the supplies and prayed for the best . . .
Needless to say the first night I waited for DP to call me and give me a report as I was staying at a house doing respite. She called and I help my breath waiting for the worst and she surprised me by saying not only did they do a nice job, but they cleaned up really well. The next few days were much of the same, and in the end they did a fabulous job!!! I felt really bad for being so judgmental and for thinking the things that I did about them. We gave them a decent bonus for the work they did, as they fix some extra things while they were here which was very kind of them. They loved the dogs and took great care to clean up as they went along. T and L were curious as well and wanted to know how they did, as we had talked a bunch about how those neighbors just seemed "different"
Since then we have talked to them more. DP has talked to the mother who is 88 or something and has lived quite the life. He was hanging out the window the other day while I was mowing the lawn and commented about how horrible the mower sounded. I said yeah, I knew we probably needed to change the filter or something, but that we never got around to it. He said to bring it over when we were done and he'd show us. We brought it over and he said if we left it with him he'd sharpen the blades and change the filter. He returned it a few days later and not only did he do what he said he would, but he cleaned it up and I dare say it looks like a brand new mower.
The real great part happened yesterday. We came home to find our nicely cleaned mower in our back yard, and T and L working on a project in their front yard. We went to check it out, and then went to the other neighbor to thank him for our mower and ask him how much we owed him (he said nothing, but we will get him a gift card or something). He asked if we heard about the accident the day before in front of our house and we said no, but went out to find all the glass in the front lawn by the pole that someone schmucked into. He was standing there with us, and T and L came over and we all began to talk, and for the first time T and L met the neighbor on the other side, and it just felt so good knowing that we could bring these two neighbors together. We had only every talked about the other, but yet they have never met and L grew up in that house . . .
The moral of this very very very long story is that it's nice to be challenged on the things that we think about others. I can't wait to learn how to play poker . . .the mother next store told me she'd teach us. She would also like to meet the dogs . . .she likes dogs and hears them playing and hoped she'd get to meet them. She also paints, and tells stories, and has a very sweet smile. He may look like he could be an axe murderer, but I am finding out and that he and his mother are great neighbors to have.
The End!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Mother's Day
So mom's day is coming up . . .and her birthday is also two days before. She is constantly bugging me for copies of pictures that we take that she finds really cute.
She never does anything with the pictures and it irritates me that I give them to her and they sit around.
So this year we are making her one of those photo books from Shutt*rfly. I finally finished it tonight and I really hope she likes it!! She's impossible to buy for because she is not able to do much. I hope this brings her some enjoyment--though I know she will now want one every year.
They are a great idea. I did one for DP last xmas. They are a little more costly than printing pics only, but by the time I print and DO something with them I might as well have them do all the hard work. I am working on a year in review for us from last year!
Work is crazy . . .going to Florida Monday night into Tuesday and considering if I can possible squeeze in anything manageable at Disney and still be coherent in the morning for a work thing. Thoughts?
She never does anything with the pictures and it irritates me that I give them to her and they sit around.
So this year we are making her one of those photo books from Shutt*rfly. I finally finished it tonight and I really hope she likes it!! She's impossible to buy for because she is not able to do much. I hope this brings her some enjoyment--though I know she will now want one every year.
They are a great idea. I did one for DP last xmas. They are a little more costly than printing pics only, but by the time I print and DO something with them I might as well have them do all the hard work. I am working on a year in review for us from last year!
Work is crazy . . .going to Florida Monday night into Tuesday and considering if I can possible squeeze in anything manageable at Disney and still be coherent in the morning for a work thing. Thoughts?
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Hello blog, it's me . . .beans!
Yeah, so I have been absent for a little bit. I did talk to DP about it last night and I think I will try and blog at least once a week. I do miss it. . . just taking the time to get the thoughts out there. Seems I don't take the time to stop long enough to catch up to myself--though in all honesty when I do I scare myself!
The new job responsibilites have been going really well. I am so freaking busy that I have little time to complain and wish for a life in a place where it is always 70 degrees and sunny. I am now the coordinator of children's admissions and family services. I deal with all the new admissions and families coming in, which also means I have a lot more say in who gets to come and not come. I have alredy had almost the same number of admissions they had last year--in the last 3 months!! I am seriously rocking it!! It's also hard to be in the position of turning away so many families. We have gotten so many referrals for adolescents that are over the age of 18 and really have serious issues. I can't imagine families trying to place them now . . .it's harder to do it younger, but even harder to get them placed at 18+. I have one school district in CT that I would say would write me a check if I would take their kid . . .sad sometimes. Dealing with a lot of NY school districts and learning all of their whacky ways of doing things! I am flying to FL in two weeks to screen a kid there. Staying overnight in Orlando . . .I have never been do Disney and it seems like a sin to be able to fly over it and be so near yet not be able to stay and visit!
Home is good. We have been working on some home improvement projects, and most of you that read my blog are also on FB so you have seen and heard all about that. It is nice to do stuff, but crazy how much it costs to do them. We are trying to do some stuff ourselves, like laying a small patio, but that was really hard. It is a nice spot now though! We are getting an estimate for a new small fence around an expanded garden area, though the garden is decidedly bare right now. We were going to buy stuff to make raised beds, then we decided that we will make the raised beds in the fall. So we need to get dirt and get going on planting the peas. We are about 3 weeks late in getting peas in the ground. We did start tomatoes, peppers, and eggplant. Can't wait for fresh stuff. We will rent a rototiller with our neighbors this weekend and get that sqaured away.
Family stuff is . . .well. You know. Had my bro down a month or so ago to see the down's specialist at CHOP and they determined that he didn't have early dementia, he was just acting out. I could have told you that, but it was good for me to get some support from the clinic. They have a social worker and a nurse practitioner who have been good. I am hoping to get the folks set up with a nutritionist as they are in serious need of help with their food issues. Bro in TX is having a hard time. SIL is no longer working and was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. He doesn't know what to do and refuses to get help for himself. He says they want to move back Northeast, and I am not objecting because TX is just too damn far and they have no support out there. It's a big giant mess and she isn't willing to do what she needs to in order to get the bipolar under control. She admitted in the hospital that she wanted to kill my brother and little tyke, and so brother is afraid to leave her alone with LT and she is saying now she wants to be a stay at home mom to which he responds hell NO!! What a mess . . .not my mess but I feel for him none the less. I think they will decide what they will do at the end of the school year since little tyke is in kindergarten this year. Shit how time flies!!
And for my issues. Hanging in there. Doing a lot of work on trauma stuff, and body image. Seems as if I have pretty cruddy body image! Hahahahahah . . .I laugh because it is out of control. I lost like 45 lbs and this weekend saw myself on video from the weekend and I looked larger than ever. I have no ability to see myself for what I am. It is really very sad to be honest. I wish I could just not worry about it anymore and just be happy with who I am and what I am doing with my life.
I am off tonight to the final LCSW supervision group that I have been facilitating. I was co-faciliatating in hopes that I would be able to start my own supervision group, but turns out I have to be 5 years post LSW and that will be next year. So I will reclaim my Wednesday's and perhaps have some chances to hang out with some old pals!
Hope all is well in your corners. See you next week. Same time, same beanie channel!
The new job responsibilites have been going really well. I am so freaking busy that I have little time to complain and wish for a life in a place where it is always 70 degrees and sunny. I am now the coordinator of children's admissions and family services. I deal with all the new admissions and families coming in, which also means I have a lot more say in who gets to come and not come. I have alredy had almost the same number of admissions they had last year--in the last 3 months!! I am seriously rocking it!! It's also hard to be in the position of turning away so many families. We have gotten so many referrals for adolescents that are over the age of 18 and really have serious issues. I can't imagine families trying to place them now . . .it's harder to do it younger, but even harder to get them placed at 18+. I have one school district in CT that I would say would write me a check if I would take their kid . . .sad sometimes. Dealing with a lot of NY school districts and learning all of their whacky ways of doing things! I am flying to FL in two weeks to screen a kid there. Staying overnight in Orlando . . .I have never been do Disney and it seems like a sin to be able to fly over it and be so near yet not be able to stay and visit!
Home is good. We have been working on some home improvement projects, and most of you that read my blog are also on FB so you have seen and heard all about that. It is nice to do stuff, but crazy how much it costs to do them. We are trying to do some stuff ourselves, like laying a small patio, but that was really hard. It is a nice spot now though! We are getting an estimate for a new small fence around an expanded garden area, though the garden is decidedly bare right now. We were going to buy stuff to make raised beds, then we decided that we will make the raised beds in the fall. So we need to get dirt and get going on planting the peas. We are about 3 weeks late in getting peas in the ground. We did start tomatoes, peppers, and eggplant. Can't wait for fresh stuff. We will rent a rototiller with our neighbors this weekend and get that sqaured away.
Family stuff is . . .well. You know. Had my bro down a month or so ago to see the down's specialist at CHOP and they determined that he didn't have early dementia, he was just acting out. I could have told you that, but it was good for me to get some support from the clinic. They have a social worker and a nurse practitioner who have been good. I am hoping to get the folks set up with a nutritionist as they are in serious need of help with their food issues. Bro in TX is having a hard time. SIL is no longer working and was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. He doesn't know what to do and refuses to get help for himself. He says they want to move back Northeast, and I am not objecting because TX is just too damn far and they have no support out there. It's a big giant mess and she isn't willing to do what she needs to in order to get the bipolar under control. She admitted in the hospital that she wanted to kill my brother and little tyke, and so brother is afraid to leave her alone with LT and she is saying now she wants to be a stay at home mom to which he responds hell NO!! What a mess . . .not my mess but I feel for him none the less. I think they will decide what they will do at the end of the school year since little tyke is in kindergarten this year. Shit how time flies!!
And for my issues. Hanging in there. Doing a lot of work on trauma stuff, and body image. Seems as if I have pretty cruddy body image! Hahahahahah . . .I laugh because it is out of control. I lost like 45 lbs and this weekend saw myself on video from the weekend and I looked larger than ever. I have no ability to see myself for what I am. It is really very sad to be honest. I wish I could just not worry about it anymore and just be happy with who I am and what I am doing with my life.
I am off tonight to the final LCSW supervision group that I have been facilitating. I was co-faciliatating in hopes that I would be able to start my own supervision group, but turns out I have to be 5 years post LSW and that will be next year. So I will reclaim my Wednesday's and perhaps have some chances to hang out with some old pals!
Hope all is well in your corners. See you next week. Same time, same beanie channel!
Sunday, February 07, 2010
where did my spell check button go
ok, so i no longer have the spell check option on my blog posts . . .do others still have it on theirs? if so, where is it??? help!!
across the top i have
two arrows, font, text, bold, italic, strike through, text color, highlight color, link, image, 4 alignments, 123 bullets, bullets, quote, remove formatting, and jump break . . .that's all. i used to have a button that i could press for spelling . . .
across the top i have
two arrows, font, text, bold, italic, strike through, text color, highlight color, link, image, 4 alignments, 123 bullets, bullets, quote, remove formatting, and jump break . . .that's all. i used to have a button that i could press for spelling . . .
Stealing from Daisy . . .
1. Do you use the labels various charities send you as “free gifts?” Rarely, because usually they have spelled my name wrong, and I rarely send things in the mail anymore. We use them for xmas cards and for when we go to expos and stuff so you do'nt have to write your address all the time.
2. What is your favorite time of day (or night) for skywatching? i love when i take the pups out at night and it is cool, not cold, not hot but perfect. looking up i am reminded that things aren't that big after all. love love love looking up at the stars. i would love to go camping sometime and just sleep under the stars!
3. What is the most adventurous you've ever been with trying a new food? i have no adventure when it comes to food. i have been telling DP that I would try come yummy new veggies if she deems them good. i have tried asparagus and brussel sprouts so far.
4. Have you ever heard a rock sing? um, perhaps once when i was using the wacky weed . . .
5. If you could learn a language you don't presently speak, what would it be? believe it or not, i learned spanish and french at one time, but know very little of either now.
6. Al Capone's tombstone read, “My Jesus, Mercy.” If you could write your own epitaph, what would it say? um, i really don't know. something cheesy about persevering and making the most of my life.
7. If you were a famous musician who was known by one name, like “Cher,” “Sting,” or “Jewel,” what would it be? It doesn’t have to be your first name, but it can be, if you’d like. Q
8. Have you ever been inordinately “into” a television show? not really . . .i get into phases where i watch things and then don't
9. When you sneeze, do you go big, or do you do that weird “heenh!” sound that makes people think you’re going to blow your brains out? Any other variation we should know about? i try not to sneeze big, but sometimes i can't help it. i try to hold it in and you are right, it feels like brains might come out my eyeballs or something. i have inherited the gift of sneezing 100 times like my mother.
10. Do you still read an actual newspaper that you hold in your hands, or do you get your news elsewhere? i read the pocono record from my folks house becasue it isn't nearly as depressing as the news around here. i also read the paper in Wisconsin. we have been getting the weekend paper delivered for a few months now for free, and we use the coupons.
11. Are you a good speller? i used to be, but spell checker has done me in. i was the spelling bee champion in elementary school numerous times!
12. At what time each day do you start thinking about lunch? depends on the day . . .usually around 11, but i have a mid morning snack of veggies and hummus most weekdays.
2. What is your favorite time of day (or night) for skywatching? i love when i take the pups out at night and it is cool, not cold, not hot but perfect. looking up i am reminded that things aren't that big after all. love love love looking up at the stars. i would love to go camping sometime and just sleep under the stars!
3. What is the most adventurous you've ever been with trying a new food? i have no adventure when it comes to food. i have been telling DP that I would try come yummy new veggies if she deems them good. i have tried asparagus and brussel sprouts so far.
4. Have you ever heard a rock sing? um, perhaps once when i was using the wacky weed . . .
5. If you could learn a language you don't presently speak, what would it be? believe it or not, i learned spanish and french at one time, but know very little of either now.
6. Al Capone's tombstone read, “My Jesus, Mercy.” If you could write your own epitaph, what would it say? um, i really don't know. something cheesy about persevering and making the most of my life.
7. If you were a famous musician who was known by one name, like “Cher,” “Sting,” or “Jewel,” what would it be? It doesn’t have to be your first name, but it can be, if you’d like. Q
8. Have you ever been inordinately “into” a television show? not really . . .i get into phases where i watch things and then don't
9. When you sneeze, do you go big, or do you do that weird “heenh!” sound that makes people think you’re going to blow your brains out? Any other variation we should know about? i try not to sneeze big, but sometimes i can't help it. i try to hold it in and you are right, it feels like brains might come out my eyeballs or something. i have inherited the gift of sneezing 100 times like my mother.
10. Do you still read an actual newspaper that you hold in your hands, or do you get your news elsewhere? i read the pocono record from my folks house becasue it isn't nearly as depressing as the news around here. i also read the paper in Wisconsin. we have been getting the weekend paper delivered for a few months now for free, and we use the coupons.
11. Are you a good speller? i used to be, but spell checker has done me in. i was the spelling bee champion in elementary school numerous times!
12. At what time each day do you start thinking about lunch? depends on the day . . .usually around 11, but i have a mid morning snack of veggies and hummus most weekdays.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Thanks
Thanks everyone for you words. I am glad to know I wasn't being crazy. I am just really sensitive about these kinds of things.
I sulked yesterday . . .but it was a lonely day. One of them sent me an email and was like " soooo, i get the sense you are upset . . ." i told her how i felt and she said they were still planning on doing something for my birthday. i told her not to bother at this point because it would just piss me off.
today i was better.
does anyone know what happened to the spell check feature on blogger?????
I sulked yesterday . . .but it was a lonely day. One of them sent me an email and was like " soooo, i get the sense you are upset . . ." i told her how i felt and she said they were still planning on doing something for my birthday. i told her not to bother at this point because it would just piss me off.
today i was better.
does anyone know what happened to the spell check feature on blogger?????
Sunday, January 31, 2010
I need some perspective . . .or something.
First off, I have to say that NOTHING I am about to say applies to Daisy . ..she will understand why soon.
Part I:
Ok, so DP and I are not very social people. We decided a while ago that we wanted to have a birthday party for our house--since it was going to be 100 years old this year. What a better excuse to have a party, right? We really got into it, and got lots of cool facts, ads, articles, music from 1910. It was awesome to do the research and check all that stuff out. We had a few other fun things going on like having people help us choose our paint color for the kitchen--they voted on 1 of 4 colors. We had also had gotten a take home paint your own pottery kit and bought tiles of different sizes so folks could make a tile commemorating the event. We aren't sure what we will do with them right now, but we will either make a table or frame them.
Part II:
I eat lunch with the same group of girls. There are 5 of us . . .4 of which I knew before when I worked there, so I have known them for years. I had been talking about the party for over a month now and everyone was very excited to come and we all talked about how much fun it would be. We seems to be a very tight group of women. Blah blah blah. We also celebrate birthday's with this group of ladies--usually by having a special lunch and goofy gifts. We have celebrated all birthday's this year . . .except mine. Nothing from no one . . .it kinda made me sad. Now I know I have a holiday birthday, but still. Nothing . . .
Part III:
Party day comes around, and mother nature decides she wants to crash the party. We ended up with maybe an inch of snow, if that. L had told me earlier in the week that if it snowed she would NOT be coming. She texted before the party to say she wasn't coming. T called to say she'd gotten mostly to our house but then she couldn't get through the roads and turned around (less than like a mile form our house). H never called or texted to say anything. S never called or texted or anything. S has also made plans to come to our house three other times and hasn't called or canceled.
Part IV:
We had a GREAT time with the folks that did come. We had about 25 people come and it was great to see some friends I hadn't seen in a while, and some that I see more often. The house was filled with much love, laughter, fun, food, and jello shots. I am so pleased with how it all turned out, and the tiles look amazing!
Part V:
I am finding myself really angry at my friends (the ones from work). I guess I am thinking that if they didn't want to come, or weren't going to come, then they shouldn't have made such a big deal ABOUT coming. They might have said, well, we aren't sure if we are going to make it, blah blah blah. I guess I just feel that typically I am very forgiving, and usually would just let it roll off my back . . but not acknowledging my birthday . . .not coming to a party . . .it just kind of stings a bit. My first reaction to DP was that I just wasn't going to talk to them tomorrow--which I know is a very childlike reaction. But I feel like I do need some space from them.
It is good timing anyways as I have started a new role at work as the admissions coordinator for the children's program and am busy--VERY busy . . .that would be a good excuse to separate a bit from them. I know there were other factors, and things beyond my control, and after all, i KNOW it isn't always about me . . .but the hurt is there none the less. I did miss Daisy, and knew she was coming from MUCH further than other folks and the weather was bad there--hopefully we will see each other again soon!
Not sure what I am looking for . . .just needed to vent. Thanks for reading . . .
Part I:
Ok, so DP and I are not very social people. We decided a while ago that we wanted to have a birthday party for our house--since it was going to be 100 years old this year. What a better excuse to have a party, right? We really got into it, and got lots of cool facts, ads, articles, music from 1910. It was awesome to do the research and check all that stuff out. We had a few other fun things going on like having people help us choose our paint color for the kitchen--they voted on 1 of 4 colors. We had also had gotten a take home paint your own pottery kit and bought tiles of different sizes so folks could make a tile commemorating the event. We aren't sure what we will do with them right now, but we will either make a table or frame them.
Part II:
I eat lunch with the same group of girls. There are 5 of us . . .4 of which I knew before when I worked there, so I have known them for years. I had been talking about the party for over a month now and everyone was very excited to come and we all talked about how much fun it would be. We seems to be a very tight group of women. Blah blah blah. We also celebrate birthday's with this group of ladies--usually by having a special lunch and goofy gifts. We have celebrated all birthday's this year . . .except mine. Nothing from no one . . .it kinda made me sad. Now I know I have a holiday birthday, but still. Nothing . . .
Part III:
Party day comes around, and mother nature decides she wants to crash the party. We ended up with maybe an inch of snow, if that. L had told me earlier in the week that if it snowed she would NOT be coming. She texted before the party to say she wasn't coming. T called to say she'd gotten mostly to our house but then she couldn't get through the roads and turned around (less than like a mile form our house). H never called or texted to say anything. S never called or texted or anything. S has also made plans to come to our house three other times and hasn't called or canceled.
Part IV:
We had a GREAT time with the folks that did come. We had about 25 people come and it was great to see some friends I hadn't seen in a while, and some that I see more often. The house was filled with much love, laughter, fun, food, and jello shots. I am so pleased with how it all turned out, and the tiles look amazing!
Part V:
I am finding myself really angry at my friends (the ones from work). I guess I am thinking that if they didn't want to come, or weren't going to come, then they shouldn't have made such a big deal ABOUT coming. They might have said, well, we aren't sure if we are going to make it, blah blah blah. I guess I just feel that typically I am very forgiving, and usually would just let it roll off my back . . but not acknowledging my birthday . . .not coming to a party . . .it just kind of stings a bit. My first reaction to DP was that I just wasn't going to talk to them tomorrow--which I know is a very childlike reaction. But I feel like I do need some space from them.
It is good timing anyways as I have started a new role at work as the admissions coordinator for the children's program and am busy--VERY busy . . .that would be a good excuse to separate a bit from them. I know there were other factors, and things beyond my control, and after all, i KNOW it isn't always about me . . .but the hurt is there none the less. I did miss Daisy, and knew she was coming from MUCH further than other folks and the weather was bad there--hopefully we will see each other again soon!
Not sure what I am looking for . . .just needed to vent. Thanks for reading . . .
Monday, December 21, 2009
Christmas time is here . . .Almost!
Well my day today so far has been excruciatingly boring, so I thought I would take some time to write to my fine following!! We had 13 inches of snow this weekend, and I am sure glad it happened over a weekend, as I would have likely have had to come to work if it weren't. Other folks in the Philly area got 23 inches of snow. Holy Crap that is a lot of snow. I am so glad that we decided to go in on a snow blower with our neighbors last year. It sure did come in handy and reduced our shoveling time by a LOT! See Riley not enjoying the blizzard condition!This Christmas we will be at my folk’s house, and that should be ok. I have significantly limited the amount of time I have been spending there the last two months, so I am hoping for a good holiday. We will only be there 12/24-12/26. DP's sister is coming in from Minneapolis on Saturday--which also happens to be my birthday! She will be here for a week and that will be fun. We don’t have a ton planned, and I only work three days that week. This week I only work today and tomorrow!!!!
We have had lots of household plans to think about, the latest of which is whether or not to carpet the upstairs. There is hardwood up there now, but it is in bad shaped, and you can tell it was carpeted before. Perhaps they pulled it up to sell it. In any case, it is just getting annoying to see if looking so bad, and splintering our feet. Also, Addie's hips have been causing her more problems and so that is the only area of the house that is not carpeted with a rug. Since we can't afford to refinish/replace the wood, we decided to get carpet just in the upstairs, and a runner down the stairs. Hopefully this will help until we can afford to fix the floors properly--in like 10 years!! We posted on facebook that we were thinking of doing this, and who the hell knew people were such carpet haters!! I guess I understand if you have kids and pups in a high traffic area, but we figure in the bedroom and stairs we should be ok. AT least that's what we are telling ourselves. At the end of the day it is our house and we will decide . . .I think they will be measuring today and hopefully we can get it by next week.
We also had a contractor come out to let us know about a bunch of small things we need to get done--all things my brother or father in law could do, but seeing as how they all live so damn far away, we went to the next best thing. A friend's father!! I wish owning an old home didn't cost so much money! Oh well, we love our home and will do what we can, when we can.
Speaking of our home, we are having a birthday party for it in January. Our house will be 100 years old and we are taking the opportunity to have some folks over and celebrate. We were thinking of getting tiles and having folks decorate them and then we could make it into a table or something. We also thought the house would like to take a collection for a new stove. Ours is pretty bad, and we thought instead of having folks bring other stuff, we would just do that . . .hope that isn't tacky . . .
I guess that's it for now. I should get back to work. Or back to reading old leadership notes from 4 years ago. Really, I am bored and there's not much to do today. I have some meetings this afternoon, so that will be good. I will be taking on a new position as of January, so I suppose I oughta enjoy the quiet now!!
Hope you are all well in your corners!
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Just blah
Wish I had more exciting things to say these days . . .just feeling rather blah. The Christmas spirit seems to have worn off and we have only just begun. I know it will return, but until then I am just hanging in there.
We got a visit from the police today . ..apparently someone called twice today saying the dogs (though more than likely it was Addie!) were barking excessively . . .it irritates me when folks call anonymously instead of coming to the people and talking to them. We had gone to both our neighbors and said if they were barking to let us know. Obviously they are in the outdoor kennel all day, so we don't know what they do. It just makes me mad-mostly because I wish we didn't have to leave them so long, and I wish that we could walk them more, and I wish that we had better control over their behaviors. I know I am awfully whiny, but this is my blog and I can whine if I want to.
Work is work. I forgot how much it sucked to want snow so badly, but then remember that you work at a residential facility that doesn't shut down in the snow. They expect you to be there--even though my day to day job is not direct care, I am still expected to be there. So while DP wishes for snow days, I don't. Wonder if our wishes cancel each other out?
Well, that's about all I will torture you with.
OHHH, wait. I have one more thing to say about work in general. It really gets to me when folks think that just because I am a social worker that I can somehow save the flippin world and fix everyone's problems. I am only human people and just because you come to me with a problem does NOT mean I can fix it. Also, don't be surprised if I ask you to participate in the solution!! Everyone wants stuff done, but doesn't want to do what is needed to actually fix problems. ok, really done now!
We got a visit from the police today . ..apparently someone called twice today saying the dogs (though more than likely it was Addie!) were barking excessively . . .it irritates me when folks call anonymously instead of coming to the people and talking to them. We had gone to both our neighbors and said if they were barking to let us know. Obviously they are in the outdoor kennel all day, so we don't know what they do. It just makes me mad-mostly because I wish we didn't have to leave them so long, and I wish that we could walk them more, and I wish that we had better control over their behaviors. I know I am awfully whiny, but this is my blog and I can whine if I want to.
Work is work. I forgot how much it sucked to want snow so badly, but then remember that you work at a residential facility that doesn't shut down in the snow. They expect you to be there--even though my day to day job is not direct care, I am still expected to be there. So while DP wishes for snow days, I don't. Wonder if our wishes cancel each other out?
Well, that's about all I will torture you with.
OHHH, wait. I have one more thing to say about work in general. It really gets to me when folks think that just because I am a social worker that I can somehow save the flippin world and fix everyone's problems. I am only human people and just because you come to me with a problem does NOT mean I can fix it. Also, don't be surprised if I ask you to participate in the solution!! Everyone wants stuff done, but doesn't want to do what is needed to actually fix problems. ok, really done now!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
god damned swine
so while all the prisoners had their swine flue shots, our clients who are medically fragile haven't been able to get them.
one is in the hospital now . . .her parents took her off the ventilator tonight and she will probably die before tomorrow.
what the hell kind of sense does that make . ..some days god just pisses me the hell off!
***Update-->she passed away last night***
one is in the hospital now . . .her parents took her off the ventilator tonight and she will probably die before tomorrow.
what the hell kind of sense does that make . ..some days god just pisses me the hell off!
***Update-->she passed away last night***
Monday, November 02, 2009
Southwest is kicking my ass
OK, so I am being sent to our satellite center in Massachusetts later this week and they have me going on Southwest. I don't know much about Southwest except this . . .they have weird seating arrangements, and they will tell fat people they need to buy another seat.
I am so worried about this trip and the pending seating issues that I didn't sleep well last night. I had a dream that the airline people stood there with score cards and took votes on your weight and then made you buy a new seat after strutting down the aisle in front of everyone. I called them last night and just checked in, and they said that if I was relatively ok on the Continental flight I should be ok. But then I had DP's butt to squish into . . .this time I am going with a co-worker--who I don't feel comfortable telling my fears to . . .she is a skinny mini and will have no problem. Which would be good if I knew we could sit together but they have weird seating rules. The flight out is not full at all right now--only 25% full as of last night. The flight home had only ten seats left. DP told me to go ahead and buy the other seat if I thought it would help ease my mind, but it doesn't . . .my co-workers all seem to think I will be fine. My ultimate fear is that I will get there and they will tell me I have to buy another seat and there won't BE another seat.
Oh well. DP says there's nothing I can do about it, and I know she is right. I wish the Internet didn't have so many horror stories about those who are "of size" and who have flown Southwest.
I am excited about the trip in general . . .I just need to get past this part.
I sort of joked that I was going to go to one of those body wrap places the night before and see if I can get a few inches off my butt.
Oh well . . .I will let you know how it goes.
Other stuff is fine . . .not much drama in my department which is nice for a change.
Hope all is well in your corners!
I am so worried about this trip and the pending seating issues that I didn't sleep well last night. I had a dream that the airline people stood there with score cards and took votes on your weight and then made you buy a new seat after strutting down the aisle in front of everyone. I called them last night and just checked in, and they said that if I was relatively ok on the Continental flight I should be ok. But then I had DP's butt to squish into . . .this time I am going with a co-worker--who I don't feel comfortable telling my fears to . . .she is a skinny mini and will have no problem. Which would be good if I knew we could sit together but they have weird seating rules. The flight out is not full at all right now--only 25% full as of last night. The flight home had only ten seats left. DP told me to go ahead and buy the other seat if I thought it would help ease my mind, but it doesn't . . .my co-workers all seem to think I will be fine. My ultimate fear is that I will get there and they will tell me I have to buy another seat and there won't BE another seat.
Oh well. DP says there's nothing I can do about it, and I know she is right. I wish the Internet didn't have so many horror stories about those who are "of size" and who have flown Southwest.
I am excited about the trip in general . . .I just need to get past this part.
I sort of joked that I was going to go to one of those body wrap places the night before and see if I can get a few inches off my butt.
Oh well . . .I will let you know how it goes.
Other stuff is fine . . .not much drama in my department which is nice for a change.
Hope all is well in your corners!
Sunday, October 04, 2009
A week I'd like to forget
Things have been very challenging for me to say the least over the last few weeks. The amount of time and energy I have been putting into my folks has been great . . .and very frustrating to say the least. The flood and then my father having to go to the hospital has been too much. I don't know what to do anymore to help them and I feel like I am waiting around for something horrible to happen to them, and at times I almost wish that would come sooner than later as I don't know how much longer I can handle the worrying. As a wise, wise social worker friend told me this week (thanks Friend!) you can't case manage your own family . . . I am so angry at them on so many levels that it feels at times like I will explode.
This week I did. It got to be too much and resorted to cutting again . . .something I haven't done in 6 years. I left therapy the other day and I was seething. Just so angry and I have never really been good at anger. When people in my life got angry, other people got hurt. So I decided long ago that getting angry at other people and letting them know it was not something I would do. I turned it all inward and at 12 began to cut. For me it was a way to feel . . when I was numb and needed the blood to remind me that I was still alive. A way to connect to myself and release some of that pressure that was building up inside. I don't expect others to understand this . . .I know it is not something most people can or want to understand. I used to hurt myself pretty badly and at times needed stitches, yet it wasn't about trying to end my life. I never remember feeling the pain of it all that I did to myself.
This was not true this week. I am not glad that I did it, but I am glad that not only did it hurt like hell, but it also gave me no relief what so ever. In fact for years I have been saying that if I ever went back to that I would be lost . . .I felt out of control during and afterwards as I wasn't sure how I could let myself get to that point again. I almost didn't do it as I knew my DP sees all of me and would know. As I drove around more I devised a story and decided I would do it in a place that I could say I fell or something. I didn't want to lie, but I was too far gone at that point in my head. Like a druggie looking to score I was blinded by the promise that my pain would soon end and I would be in control of my thoughts and feelings again. Little did I know that wasn't in the cards.
I came home and told DP and called shrinky dink. It was a rough day the next day and I am still off kilter. I need to find a way for anger to be appropriately expressed and know that I will not do to others what had been done to me in anger. In talking to DP she noted that in 7.5 years together she has never seen me angry. This, friends, is not ok. I need to be able to let this stuff go, and I also need the experience of being angry with others and not have them hurt me or leave. Shrinky dink say we will work harder on this, and that she will help.
In other news. . .This weekend I watched some kids yesterday and today went to church and did some yard work. We didn't go up to see the folks and it was best that way. Dad seems to be holding his own, and they have diagnosed him with gout. I guess he is in the clear of surgery right now and will be seeing a new doc tomorrow which will be good. This weekend I am in Atlantic City Thu-Saturday for a conference and then next weekend we will go up to see the folks on Sunday. The next weekend we go to TX to visit my brother and little tyke. I am excited about this trip.
In the meantime I am trying to be gentle with myself and not allow this to be the start of a downhill spiral. There's no need for that and I am on a hourly reminder system of that right now.
This week I did. It got to be too much and resorted to cutting again . . .something I haven't done in 6 years. I left therapy the other day and I was seething. Just so angry and I have never really been good at anger. When people in my life got angry, other people got hurt. So I decided long ago that getting angry at other people and letting them know it was not something I would do. I turned it all inward and at 12 began to cut. For me it was a way to feel . . when I was numb and needed the blood to remind me that I was still alive. A way to connect to myself and release some of that pressure that was building up inside. I don't expect others to understand this . . .I know it is not something most people can or want to understand. I used to hurt myself pretty badly and at times needed stitches, yet it wasn't about trying to end my life. I never remember feeling the pain of it all that I did to myself.
This was not true this week. I am not glad that I did it, but I am glad that not only did it hurt like hell, but it also gave me no relief what so ever. In fact for years I have been saying that if I ever went back to that I would be lost . . .I felt out of control during and afterwards as I wasn't sure how I could let myself get to that point again. I almost didn't do it as I knew my DP sees all of me and would know. As I drove around more I devised a story and decided I would do it in a place that I could say I fell or something. I didn't want to lie, but I was too far gone at that point in my head. Like a druggie looking to score I was blinded by the promise that my pain would soon end and I would be in control of my thoughts and feelings again. Little did I know that wasn't in the cards.
I came home and told DP and called shrinky dink. It was a rough day the next day and I am still off kilter. I need to find a way for anger to be appropriately expressed and know that I will not do to others what had been done to me in anger. In talking to DP she noted that in 7.5 years together she has never seen me angry. This, friends, is not ok. I need to be able to let this stuff go, and I also need the experience of being angry with others and not have them hurt me or leave. Shrinky dink say we will work harder on this, and that she will help.
In other news. . .This weekend I watched some kids yesterday and today went to church and did some yard work. We didn't go up to see the folks and it was best that way. Dad seems to be holding his own, and they have diagnosed him with gout. I guess he is in the clear of surgery right now and will be seeing a new doc tomorrow which will be good. This weekend I am in Atlantic City Thu-Saturday for a conference and then next weekend we will go up to see the folks on Sunday. The next weekend we go to TX to visit my brother and little tyke. I am excited about this trip.
In the meantime I am trying to be gentle with myself and not allow this to be the start of a downhill spiral. There's no need for that and I am on a hourly reminder system of that right now.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
The end of my rope . .
Seems to be creeping up in regards to my family. I have a ton going on with them and I don't have the slightest idea of how to figure it all out . . .
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Tony Campolo Rocks The House
This is a professor I had in college . . .he spoke at my church this past weekend and I wasn't there. I just watched and felt like I wanted to share. Even if you aren't into the god thing, he has some good things to say .. .it gets better after 12-13 minutes . . .hang in there. His wife, Peggy, went to another church I went to for a while which is a welcoming and affirming church for gay and lesbian folk and their relationship was always very interesting and I felt better about him knowing she was around to keep him real. Oh well . .for what it is worth. Take a look.
Brian Jones - The Official Website Blog Tony Campolo Rocks The House
Brian Jones - The Official Website Blog Tony Campolo Rocks The House
Guess what I did??
I read 4 books over vacation! I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but let me tell you it takes me a while to read books. I typically have a lot that I start and never finish. I went to Big Bookstore before vacation and looked at the buy one get one half off and chose a few. You might notice a theme to which my shrink was like, um, what's with that and I told her that it wasn't that unusual. Last years vacation I read a few on the same theme as well-not this years theme, but another which happened to be all about the day in the life of women in different professions--very interesting! The cool thing is I actually read a couple of novels which is not my genre of choice but I found them to be enjoyable! Take a look at what I read!
1. Better-A Surgeon's notes on performance-- I really liked this book written by a general surgeon about his work. He tackles a few issues including the changing world of health care, child birth, the medical role in the death penalty, and more. I liked that he seemed to do a good job of presenting both sides of an issue, all while illustrating it with stories of his own practice and experience. He has another book called Complications which I haven't read yet, but got at the same time. One of the things he talks about which I appreciated was about the advances in medicine and the struggle between using that technology to save people who will go on to have seriously diminished quality of life. Working with the children I do and the situations I have been in, it was great that he tackled some of that . . .whether you agree or not.
2. The Bufflehead Sisters-- This was a good novel, though I have to say that I sort of knew the ending about 3/4 of the way through. It was still entertaining enough for me to keep going and I read the whole book in about a day!
3. Tell me where it hurts-- This book is about a day in the life of a veterinary surgeon. Somewhat like Better, he addresses multiple issues and the book is a good mix of explanation of different procedures and historical context and personal stories. DP read the book and liked the stories better than the "blah blah boring stuff." It was cute I thought . . .and again, very easy no brainer book for all the animal livers out there.
4. But inside I am screaming -- I enjoyed this novel about an reporter who has a nervous breakdown and ends up in a psych ward to try and figure herself out. She struggles with the "i'm not like these crazy people" idea and the book follows her through this. I liked this book as I could relate having spent a good amount of my own life in similar situations.
Have you guys read any of these? Any other reviews of these that you would add?
Hope all is well in your parts. I am back to work tomorrow . . .I am well rested and ready for new adventures. I have some posts about some other things but they will have to wait for now!
1. Better-A Surgeon's notes on performance-- I really liked this book written by a general surgeon about his work. He tackles a few issues including the changing world of health care, child birth, the medical role in the death penalty, and more. I liked that he seemed to do a good job of presenting both sides of an issue, all while illustrating it with stories of his own practice and experience. He has another book called Complications which I haven't read yet, but got at the same time. One of the things he talks about which I appreciated was about the advances in medicine and the struggle between using that technology to save people who will go on to have seriously diminished quality of life. Working with the children I do and the situations I have been in, it was great that he tackled some of that . . .whether you agree or not.
2. The Bufflehead Sisters-- This was a good novel, though I have to say that I sort of knew the ending about 3/4 of the way through. It was still entertaining enough for me to keep going and I read the whole book in about a day!
3. Tell me where it hurts-- This book is about a day in the life of a veterinary surgeon. Somewhat like Better, he addresses multiple issues and the book is a good mix of explanation of different procedures and historical context and personal stories. DP read the book and liked the stories better than the "blah blah boring stuff." It was cute I thought . . .and again, very easy no brainer book for all the animal livers out there.
4. But inside I am screaming -- I enjoyed this novel about an reporter who has a nervous breakdown and ends up in a psych ward to try and figure herself out. She struggles with the "i'm not like these crazy people" idea and the book follows her through this. I liked this book as I could relate having spent a good amount of my own life in similar situations.
Have you guys read any of these? Any other reviews of these that you would add?
Hope all is well in your parts. I am back to work tomorrow . . .I am well rested and ready for new adventures. I have some posts about some other things but they will have to wait for now!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Relaxing Queen
Vacation is going marvelously and again I am sad that I cannot be a professional vactioner . .
So far I have read two whole books--which is a huge accomplishment for me . . , had the dog neutered, took a tour of Lambeau Field, bought 20lbs of cheese for dirt cheap, and spent two glorious hours doing nothing but laying outside reading. We also went to Door County, WI where I was able to wander about these small quaint shops and dream of a day I can do more of this kind of stuff.
DP and I have made some decisions about some things we need to do when we get back home--mainly looking at the budget and the garden--I know two very different things but both important to be looked at. We realize that we have spent so much time working this summer that we have been most miserable and at times not so nice to each other. This is not how we want to be with each other and will work towards making some changes.
I think I am going to nap a bit this afternoon since the pups apparently have NO concept of the time change and have been up at 5:00am most the days we have been here so far. This, my friends, is NOT fun!
I will leave you with some pic
tures
of our time so far . . . Enjoy and hope all is well in your parts!
I will leave you with some pic
tures
of our time so far . . . Enjoy and hope all is well in your parts!The kids lying about . . .picture from lunch in Door, County. Below is another picture from where we stopped to have lunch, then from the field at Lambeau!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Vote for my friend if you would . . .
Hey there folks-
If you have a second, please vote for my friend and her husband's photography business. They are in the run to win a Best of Philly award . . . You do'nt need to live in the area to vote. Check it out below:
If you have a second, please vote for my friend and her husband's photography business. They are in the run to win a Best of Philly award . . . You do'nt need to live in the area to vote. Check it out below:
Weld Photography http://www.weldphotography.us/ has been nominated as Best of Philly at
My Fox Philly Hotlist. We are in 6th place out of 187 photographers.
It only takes a minute to vote and is super easy. To vote go to: http://myfoxphilly.cityvoter.com/weld-photography/biz/406714
One vote per e-mail address. Pass on the link to anyone you might know
that would take a sec to help out our company.
Monday, August 17, 2009
64 things you've never been asked
1. First thing you wash in the shower? shampoo my hair
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? hunter green
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yes!
4. Do you plan outfits? depends--not usually
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? excited about vacation
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red? candy cane from xmas
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? kayaking with my shrink
8. Did you meet anyone new today? yes, the nice kid from the car place
9. What are you craving right now? iced tea
10. Do you floss? yes--recently started and i love it
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? saurkraut
12. Are you emotional? sometimes
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Probably not
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? usually let it melt a little then eat it
15. Do you like your hair? yes
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? only if i could poison him!
18. What are you listening to right now? DP listening to "all she wants to do is dance"
19. Are your parents strict? on certain things, but not really
20. Would you go sky diving? NO WAY!
21. Do you like cottage cheese? yes
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? no
23. Do you rent movies often? no
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? yes, a print on my wall
25. How many countries have you visited? 1
26. Have you made a prank phone call? yes, when i was a kid
27. Ever been on a train? Yes
28. Brown or white eggs? brown
29. Do you have a cell phone? Yes
30. Do you use chap stick? Burts!
31. Do you own a gun? hell no
32. Can you use chop sticks? Nope
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? DP and the kids
34. Are you too forgiving? at times
35. Ever been in love? Yes!
36. What are your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? working and lunch bunch
37. Ever have cream puffs? Yes
38. Last time you cried? a few days ago
39. What was the last question you asked? do we have a deposit slip
40. Favorite time of the year? fall-hands down
41. Do you have any tattoos? yes, two
42. Are you sarcastic? yes!
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? nope
44. Ever walked into a wall? more times than i should admit
45. Favorite color? purple
46. Have you ever slapped someone? i am sure
47. Is your hair curly? nope
48. What was the last CD you bought? the new alanis album
49. Do looks matter? more than i would like to admit
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? nope--i can't stand lying at all
51. Is your phone bill sky high? no, but it is more than i wish
52. Do you like your life right now? it is working and getting better. more improvements are needed but that is good
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? nope
54. Can you handle the truth? Yes, gently given of course
55. Do you have good vision? mostly, i have a slight prescription but can see without them
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? yes
57. How often do you talk on the phone? all the time
58. The last person you held hands with? DP
59. What are you wearing? pj's
60.What is your favorite animal? dogs
61. Where was your profile picture taken? outside
62. Can you hula hoop? no
63. Do you have a job? Yes-thanks goodness
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? a windsheild
2. What color is your favorite hoodie? hunter green
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yes!
4. Do you plan outfits? depends--not usually
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? excited about vacation
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red? candy cane from xmas
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? kayaking with my shrink
8. Did you meet anyone new today? yes, the nice kid from the car place
9. What are you craving right now? iced tea
10. Do you floss? yes--recently started and i love it
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? saurkraut
12. Are you emotional? sometimes
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Probably not
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? usually let it melt a little then eat it
15. Do you like your hair? yes
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? only if i could poison him!
18. What are you listening to right now? DP listening to "all she wants to do is dance"
19. Are your parents strict? on certain things, but not really
20. Would you go sky diving? NO WAY!
21. Do you like cottage cheese? yes
22. Have you ever met a celebrity? no
23. Do you rent movies often? no
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? yes, a print on my wall
25. How many countries have you visited? 1
26. Have you made a prank phone call? yes, when i was a kid
27. Ever been on a train? Yes
28. Brown or white eggs? brown
29. Do you have a cell phone? Yes
30. Do you use chap stick? Burts!
31. Do you own a gun? hell no
32. Can you use chop sticks? Nope
33. Who are you going to be with tonight? DP and the kids
34. Are you too forgiving? at times
35. Ever been in love? Yes!
36. What are your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? working and lunch bunch
37. Ever have cream puffs? Yes
38. Last time you cried? a few days ago
39. What was the last question you asked? do we have a deposit slip
40. Favorite time of the year? fall-hands down
41. Do you have any tattoos? yes, two
42. Are you sarcastic? yes!
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? nope
44. Ever walked into a wall? more times than i should admit
45. Favorite color? purple
46. Have you ever slapped someone? i am sure
47. Is your hair curly? nope
48. What was the last CD you bought? the new alanis album
49. Do looks matter? more than i would like to admit
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? nope--i can't stand lying at all
51. Is your phone bill sky high? no, but it is more than i wish
52. Do you like your life right now? it is working and getting better. more improvements are needed but that is good
53. Do you sleep with the TV on? nope
54. Can you handle the truth? Yes, gently given of course
55. Do you have good vision? mostly, i have a slight prescription but can see without them
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? yes
57. How often do you talk on the phone? all the time
58. The last person you held hands with? DP
59. What are you wearing? pj's
60.What is your favorite animal? dogs
61. Where was your profile picture taken? outside
62. Can you hula hoop? no
63. Do you have a job? Yes-thanks goodness
64. What was the most recent thing you bought? a windsheild
Vacation
I am on vacation in a few days and it cannot come soon enough. This summer has been hellacious with work and the extra work we took on. It was clearly a lot to do and we are feeling the stress of not having any free time to really be with each other and not worry so much about not having any free time. We have managed to make use of our season tickets to the waterpark, but even that has been a lot with driving up there and having to then see my folks. . . usually all in one day becasue the nexty day we are working.
Things have been generally ok. I have been feeling very tired in the afternoons lately, and this has lead to checking in with the sleep study folks to see what might be happening with my sleep. I went for the first test and they said that even though the apneas were WAY better than last time five years ago, there's still enough present to make them want me to have a mask. He says if I keep losing weight it is likely that I won’t need it at all soon. I go back in a few weeks to have the second study done. I think the doc will also check me for Lymes as we have had many folks at work get it, and Addie was recently diagnosed with it as well.
I also had to start taking blood pressure medication. Now, I have had issues with medications since before when I was on too many psychotropics to keep track of. When I was finally able to come off of all meds a few years ago I sort of went the other way in that I don't want to take ANYTHING!!! But alas my BP had been a little high--like 130's/90's . . .for a while and she thought that since everyone else in my fam had high BP that it just might be a genetic thing. I canceled a few appts with her because I didn't want to discuss the issue. Then my bro who went on them a few years ago lost 40lbs and he has been able to come off of all of them. I am now taking a small dose of something or other and it seems to have given me an acceptable blood pressure for now. Cholesterol is excellent, so I guess that is good.
I am hanging in there with the weight loss. It has been so slow and up and down a few lbs on any given week. I am hoping the two weeks with DP's folks will help stabilize things as we generally eat very well there and walk a lot. I haven't gained and feel good that at least I am maintaining. I need to kick up the working out, but see paragraph one about not having time for anything and being very tired in the afternoons. I would like to try and see if I can find a place that I can do water aerobics. I think that would be great fun!
The pups are good, though Riley had a fight with his BFF Buergi this past week and since then they have been unable to be together. It is time for the big snip, and he will have that done while we are in Wisconsin. Folks have said we should be glad that they got along so well this long as they are both intact males-->NOT FOR LONG! Addie is as precious as ever and we have finally found the trick to her bowels and that means she can be on the same food as her brother and she is doing great. She has so much energy in the morning and we are convinced she has some boxer in her casue when she gets excited her puppy paws go flying!!! It is very cute--except when you are taking her up to the kennel with a full bucket of water and she runs into you--this has happened a few times and it has made for a less than happy mama!
Work has been ok. New exciting prospects on the horizon, which I won't get into until I hear something for sure. Let's just say that it would be a big deal and would require me to wear more fancy pants clothing on a regular basis . . . Doing a lot of respite care . . .glad I can be helpful to families and the kids.
Family stuff has been interesting. We have been having a lot of discussions, heated debates, and tears over future planning for my brother. The good thing is that we seem to be on the right road as far as some things my folks needed to see. Like being more accurate on his yearly plan about what he could and couldn't do. Little things like that are going far to have my folks trust me a bit more. We have also planned a trip to TX to see other bro in October and will be there for his birthday. We are all very excited and this will be DP's first trip to see the place in TX. Little Tyke starts kindergarten next week . .where does the time go. I can still remember leaving my job the day we got the call that we was being born and now he's trotting off to school and my bro is on the PTA!!!!! WHAT???
OK, well, I should get back to work. Hope this keeps you guys hanging in there with me. I am sure I will have lot of adventures to share from vacation and the time to share them! I even bought a few books yesterday to take with me!!!
Hope all is well in your corners! See you soon!!!
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